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Hey!👋🏾
Warning, This is a long read, but I think it’s a very good description of me/what I’m looking for 🤣
I’m a fun 27 year old woman from the United States, currently living in Arizona. I have a great job, a cute cat, no kids, amazing friends and a love for international travel. I recently got out of a 3 year relationship which honestly was only “real” for about 1.5 years. After about 1.5 years he got way too comfortable with me, and stopped caring. 🙃 I was putting in 110% and he was putting in 0% We made the decision to part ways and I now know what I’m looking for and will NOT settle. As for a little bit about me, I am probably one of the most fearless people you will ever meet. I make friends wherever I go, even if it’s just the grocery store lol! I dance in public to good music. Electric Feel - MGMT ??
I have an obsession with the 1970s (decor, fashion, people and movements of the time, also the music). I am a complete hippie when it comes to social justice issues. BLM. Love is love. Climate change is real, abortion is healthcare, and our bodies are our own! I was raised Christian but am not anymore. I respect those of all religions but it’s not for me..so if you are religious we probably will not work out. I have loved swimming since I was 3 and you can typically find me at the gym in the pool most weeks nights🤣. I adore animals and am vegetarian 🌱
I am looking to step into my feminine energy and am looking for an emotionally ready man to spend my time with. I want a man who will take the lead, plan dates, text me, tell me I’m beautiful, buy me flowers… just put in EFFORT. I am not polyamorous, just to put that out there lol. I don’t have time for games, false pretenses or someone who isn’t wanting the same. Just be authentic and honest, please.
I enjoy cozy video games like Animal Crossing 😜 I am 420 friendly 🍃 🍄 and am all about the human experience. I believe life is meant to be enjoyed not suffered through! I am curvy, 36H, size 12, 5’4” black (mixed). I love the rain, though I live in the desert. I grew up in Minnesota so I love the snow and cozy nights in. I have a cute red moped with a brown basket on the back. Her name is Rhoda. Lol.
I love to travel! I just returned from Austria 🇦🇹 in November and Mexico 🇲🇽 this last weekend 🤩 Other places I’ve visited and enjoy are Scandinavia, Scotland and the UK , Germany, Switzerland.. I speak a bit of German and Spanish as well as English fluently. I am just easy to be around, and I really truly care about everyone. I go out of my way to make sure others’ needs are met and I think acts of service are how I show love? I receive love in the form of quality time and acts of service. Please note.. I am looking for a life partner not just a friend. If that starts long distance I’m fine with that. I’m also fine to relocate if the time comes, but I absolutely hate texting so prefer video chats or phone calls if we start talking more seriously. I’m happy to come to you (I love travel, remember?) 😅
Overall I am looking for someone who is :
-compassionate 🫂 -caring and attentive (if you don’t care about your partner’s needs we will not work out) and also puts in effort -good hygiene -NO KIDS and doesn’t want any… I am childfree by choice, thank you! 🚫 -at LEAST 27 and likes curvier women -authentic and won’t change personalities after 1 year of dating 🙄 -someone who enjoys being taken care of and doesn’t consider this “mothering” but also is masculine and can “take charge”. -someone who loves to explore the world and travel 🌍 -outdoorsy (I really love camping 🏕) -cares about physical fitness/health in general. I am NOT a gym rat and please don’t ask me to go hiking 🤣😅🙅🏾‍♀️. But I think it’s important to maintain good health. Too many people in my family have died from poor life choices and I want better for myself and whoever I end up with. ❤️ -good head on their shoulders/professional good at giving life advice/mentor? -loves good sex 😏 Sex is very important to me in a relationship once I have established feelings for someone. Looking for someone who agrees.
Please don’t message me if you’re looking for an online sex buddy, “chat buddy” or something similar. I am not interested. If you bring up sex in the first message: 🚩
I’m not looking for perfect but I believe in manifestation and I think this is it! Kudos if you stuck around and read all of that 😅 please message me via chat if you’re interested or want to chat! I do not have Snapchat.
photos

Welcome back on this Holiday Week! Today is the day a lot of you have been waiting for, when Master meets Master. But... it got a little long, Too long for Reddit. So bear with me, I have a present for you all.
Previous Chapter can be found <- there
Everything else can be found in Wafflebot's comment below.
As always, I hope you enjoy and I am always open to ideas and criticism.
__________________________________________________________________________
​​​​-Ruufarrl-
He woke with the dawn.
Ruufarrl was so used to ship living at this point that he had forgotten to close the window coverings to prevent the early sunlight from waking him. The difference in environment would have bothered him had the situation been different, but the wonderful bed that he lay on had overridden any issues with sleeping in a strange place and the lack of background humming and vibration from the ship's engines.
Or maybe he had just been that tired.
He let his senses absorb what they could from his position. Some sort of creature was making a warbling sound form outside, heard faintly through the closed windows. He could hear someone moving around downstairs. He thought it likely to be Conrad's mother, Dianna, as he could smell some food being prepared. He thought about the clarity with which he could smell and hear for a moment before cracking open one eye and turning his head.
His door had been opened during the night. It now stood open a little wider than the flat of his hand. He narrowed his eyes and started to sit up, then realized that something was weighing down his bed coverings.
He lifted his head and looked down. Right where his legs joined his body, lay a curled form with black fur. 'Ahh, so it was you that came in then.'
Solais stirred as he shifted and spoke. The cat looked up at him with a dreary laziness, then rolled itself so that it once again lay against his legs, it's paws sticking up in the air and curled.
Ruufarrl snorted at the display. 'So, you have decided you can trust me after all.' He reached down and gently pet the cat's neck as he had seen Greg do the day before. The cat gave a small chirrup, leaned into the touch and began to purr. He remembered the conversation he had with Conrad while looking up the animals, about how their pets were also considered to be stress relief for those that owned and/or pet them.
He smiled to himself as he lay back down and continued to pet Solais, immersing himself in the tactile softness of its fur and the gentle vibration of its purr. He had never kept pets himself, considering them before to be a waste of resources and time. But now he wondered if perhaps he had missed the point entirely. 'Perhaps a few more minutes of rest wouldn't hurt after all.'
_____________________________________________________
He woke again a few minutes later to more noise in the hall and a stronger smell from the cooking food. He looked down at the cat that still sat between his legs, 'Sorry little one. It is time for me to rise.' He gently worked himself out of the bed, with the cat still stubbornly refusing to move from its position. Once he was out of the bed Solais simply stretched out and rolled over again.
Again he chuckled at the cats antics, 'Very well then. The bed is yours.'
Ruufarrl took a few moments to get properly attired and headed downstairs. Along the way he met a very dreary Conrad, the source of the commotion that had awoken him. He was coming out of a side room and still looked half asleep. Conrad paused as he noticed him and then nodded before pointing back at the room he had exited.
'Should have shown it to you before. This is the washroom. You have a shower, sink and a... bio waste disposal... a toilet.' He stopped talking a moment as his mind ground into grudging service. 'I... Do you... Eh whatever, you'll figure it out. You take care of bodily functions and hygiene in there. I will see you downstairs.'
Ruufarrl cocked his head in amusement as Conrad went down the stairs. He decided it might be a good idea to at least familiarize himself with the facilities, so he stepped inside the indicated room. The sink was wet, likely the object that Conrad had been working with before he exited. The large stall resembled the sanitation pods that were standard throughout the GalCom. Though it did not look like a sonic unit, he suspected that it would be easy enough to use. The toilet was the only object left. Obviously built for human proportions rather than of a universal design, he looked suspiciously at the water in the bowl. 'Not a Sonic-Pneumatic system, nor any sort of closing cover to create the necessary pressure for such a system, it must have something to do with the water. I suppose that it might be a gentler system designed for planet side use, given the lack of metal on the unit.' He then shrugged to himself and left the room, 'There will be time to learn later.'
The smell of strange food got stronger as he went downstairs, and he followed it to the source. Dianna stood in the cooking area, swatting and fussing at Conrad as he tried to sneak what looked to be thin strips of fried meat from a plate. She shooed Conrad out and turned to him, 'Good Morning, Mr. Ruufarrl. Breakfast will be out shortly. Shall I assume you will be having water again?'
'Yes, thank you. Might I ask what it is you have made?'
'Of course. I've put together toast made of Barker's bread with some local fruit jams to put on it. The bread is made from local grains and has something of an earthy but pleasant taste to it. We also have scrambled chicken eggs, home fries made from soft Stryka root and fried bacon.'
'That sounds like a wide ranging set. Jams and eggs I am familiar with in general, we use some fruits and animal eggs to complement our diets. I am curious about the Stryka root, this special bread and bacon. What are they?'
'Ah, ok. Hmm, well I guess I can start from the very beginning to explain a few things. I don't know how things are done in your sector of space, but we made a big mistake a long time ago when we first started exploring. We introduced earth plants to a habitable world, and it completely overturned the balance there. The introduced Earth plants lost, there just weren't enough of them to overcome a hostile environment, but they did take some of the local flora with them, and it started an ecological disaster. So nowadays there are laws and strict regulations so that we don't bring anything with us that goes into the ground or let loose into the wilds.
So, knowing that, we have to find local counterparts in order to make some of our favored items. Terrence Barker was an original colonist, a brewer by trade, who figured out how to take the grain from Rattleweeds and make it useable for bread and alcohol. Rattleweeds are a long grass that is covered in hard seedpods that rattle in the winds, but the seed pods are nearly impossible to get into without destroying the actual seed inside. He found that they could be soaked in a soda wash, which acted like an acid and would soften the cases, allowing the seeds to be separated, threshed out and used.
Now, Stryka root is the closest local approximation we have to a potato, a starchy root vegetable from Earth that can quite literally be prepared with everything. Stryka is a little more delicate and soft thanks to being more porous, so care needs to be taken when storing and preparing it so it doesn't get bruised or smashed accidentally. But, because it is soft and porous, it holds juices and flavors very well. When made into home fries it gets cut up and put into oil to pan fry with seasonings. It pulls in and absorbs the seasonings so that each individual fry practically explodes with it when eaten. As for Bacon... well.' She stopped and smiled as she looked at the strips of meat a moment before turning back to him.
'Bacon has always made our worlds go 'round. It is made from strips of pig meat, an old Earth farm animal that is easy to rear and slaughter. As I said, they are regulated off Earth, but they are a staple resource and can eat virtually anything. This makes them perfect for starting colonies on strange worlds. This particular batch of bacon was smoked with Roka Tree wood. One of the jams is made from the fruit of the same tree, so they should go well together.'
Ruufarrl stood as still as a statue in surprise, 'You have put so much care and attention to detail into just a simple home meal, both today and yesterday. Please, there is no need to do such a thing for me. I do greatly appreciate the effort, but it is unnecessary. I am nobody special.'
She looked at him curiously a moment as she mentally tracked what he said, 'There is no need for such humility. Food is one of the great Vices of Humanity. This is​ a simple home meal. This is how we cook every day, everywhere. In fact, both the fajitas yesterday and this today are considered to be quick hot meals, ready in 30 minutes or less with the proper tools. Oh, I almost forgot. Here, I already prepared you a list of ingredients and compounds.'
Ruufarrl's mind whirled at her words as he read the information she handed him, 'I am never going to be able to go back to Galactic food again, am I?'
Not even on Ruuloth did they eat in such a manner. They enjoyed smoked meats, to be sure, but that was more of a delicacy that took tremendous time and effort to prepare. The desire to put in research and discover new flavors simply wasn't there for his people. For the Ruulothi and the majority of the GalCom, food was simply food, it was prepared quickly and with little thought behind it beyond basic nutritional need. Whether this was because of the prevalence of the Galactic Universal Diet or not would be a debate for scholars, if anyone cared to debate over it at all. Those few peoples that went beyond that often had things compounds in their food that no other race could eat. Their enhancements were a response to the conditions and either a way of supplementing something that lacked due to the compound in question, or for covering the bad taste of the offending compound. So these foods went unappreciated by the majority.
From the list handed to him just now... there were no such issues.
'In that case Matron Dianna, I accept graciously and will wait intently. I look forward to trying what you have made.' She flashed him yet another smile, 'Thank you, I will be out shortly. Please, have a seat with the others.'
Ruufarrl followed her instructions and moved to the large table that Conrad and Greg sat at, watching the Broadcast Terminal relay the news. He settled in and was drawn to the Broadcast himself, if only because he started picking up on the major differences between Human and GalCom standards of news.
Currently, there was a female reporter on screen talking about potential trouble in bordering GalCom space. Her voice was measured and professional, showing no emotion.
'On the far side of the Gulf, just in between both GalCom and Human space lies a habitable system whose ownership is currently being hotly contested. The Planet of Fildecl has found itself under dispute between the Chirleen and the Qazirxel​. The Chirleen are an omnivorous race of avian like creatures that live off the seas. The Qazirxel, though we have no recorded description, are also known to live off the seas and have tried to lay claim to the planet even though the Chirleen already have an establish colony planet side. A GalCom run Space Station has already been constructed at the Chirleen's request as they are currently undergoing the signatory process.
The Qazirxel appear to be more militant than the Chirleen and have made several threats to take the system by force. The Chirleen have entreated the Galactic Council to recognize their claim. However, per their policies, GalCom will not intervene in the conflict unless the last inhabited world of one of the sides becomes threatened. The Chirleen are known to have at least four Colonized Systems under their control. The territory of the Qazirxel is yet unknown as they are an enigmatic race that does not associate with others and have shown no interest in joining the Galactic Community and live on the fringes of GalCom space. They have a history of getting involved in similar disputes with non-signatories of the Galactic Accords.
Leaders of the Sol Systems Alliance have indicated that they are keeping a watchful eye on the situation. They have dispatched a single battlegroup to patrol the region of the Gulf nearest the conflict and are ready to mobilize more military assets if needed. A spokesperson for the Bureau of Travel and Commerce has stated that there are no known humans or human organizations living or working in the Fildecl System. So no evacuations are necessary, but travel advisories have been put in place. Various other strategies are also being enacted to prevent the conflict from spilling over into Human Territory, if it should reach that point.'
'Her pronunciations were quite well done, and her information was quite accurate as well. I wonder what assets the humans have that allow them to find such information. I only knew of the system due to its classification and danger for shipping. You wouldn't find nearly as much information presented in a GalNews broadcast and would need to be intimately familiar with the situation to even come close. We certainly would not hear from Leaders on their efforts to deal with such a situation. I think the most we would have seen was a Red Zone warning in up to date star maps.'
Ruufarrl growled softly as the reporter moved on to another topic about local fishing disputes. 'Hmmm, a Red Zone system, but not one that we Ruulothi are likely be involved in.'
Conrad and Greg both looked at him before Greg spoke, 'A Red Zone system? Is that like a conflict zone?'
Ruufarrl nodded, 'Yes, it is a classification that we use for systems that are actively under a dispute of some sort or that may involve risks to personnel or ships. Severe pirate problems, military conflicts, space anomalies, insurrections, and so on. It is an enter-at-your-own-risk classification.'
'And GalCom won't step in at all?'
'No, not for the denizens of the planet. Though they might do something if the Space Station was targeted, as it is their property and personnel that man it. But no species has been foolish enough to do so for a very long time.'
'Huh, I can't imagine the SSA not getting involved if it was someone who wanted to ally with us. That just doesn't make sense that you would willingly let someone who wants to work with you suffer.'
Ruufarrl's whiskers twitched at this, 'They... have their reasons.'
He saw Conrad nod to himself, likely remembering their lessons. Greg looked like he was going to say something more, but he was beaten by Dianna coming around the corner with platters of food.
'Breakfast is ready! Conrad, could you get the rest please?' Conrad rose at her call, 'Of course, mom.' He left and returned quickly with the remaining platters.
The breakfast was very satisfying. Ruufarrl found each component to be its own adventure. He tried a couple of things that were recommended to him by his hosts, each changing the tastes in new ways. But overall, he felt that the star of the food was as indicated earlier.
Bacon simply could not be beaten.
___________________________________________________________
-Conrad-
It took everything that he had to not laugh at Ruufarrl. The old cat looked like he had gone to Heaven during breakfast. He even caught him looking disappointed that the meal was ending. It wasn't anything that someone unfamiliar with the Ruulothi would have caught, but the slight reversal of his ears and flattening of his whiskers were obvious to Conrad now. He didn't expect the bacon to be as big of a hit as it was, but he figured that it really could make people see the light.
He would have to get him some jerky when they went to town. It wasn't quite the same, but it should allow him to come down off his bacon high safely.
The rest of the morning went by in a flash as they cleaned up and got ready for the day. There was a moment of levity as Ruufarrl was forced to use one of his mother's hair dryers after taking a shower. He came out of it looking so fluffy that Conrad actually had to turn around and go back downstairs before he busted out in laughter at the two meter tall warrior cat that looked like a red and black puff ball.
Thankfully Ruufarrl had gotten his fur under control by the time he came back downstairs. Though Conrad still had to exert an iron will to prevent from snickering at the memory.
Conrad took the rest of the morning to show Ruufarrl around their property and familiarize him with it. He was especially interested in his mother's garden and Greenhouse, and their butchering set up for hunting and farm animal slaughtering. His father hadn't picked up any pigs or other meat animals this year thanks to Conrad being away, but he still hunted so the rooms and freezers at the back of the barn were still in good shape. He did find some strange marks on the trees out back and told his father about it, but otherwise all seemed to be normal.
After they had a light lunch Conrad and Ruufarrl climbed into his Grav-truck and he drove them further up river to Santa-Anna, where Master Silva awaited.
As the fields and farmhouses passed them by he filled Ruufarrl in on where they were going.
'Sorry about the delay. Master Silva's Dojo doesn't open until regular school gets out. A lot of her students are local kids and their parents, so there is really no business for her in the mornings. We should be getting there right about the time the advanced class starts, so you should get to see some pretty good stuff being done. Her place is on the outskirts of the far side of town, so we should have the chance to stop anywhere you want on the way back. Did you have anything in mind?'
'With so many options it is like trying to pick a single tree out of a forest. I think the best option would be something that could give my clan a way to better understand Humanity? Some sort of historical dissertation perhaps? If we wish for lasting friendly relations and mutual support, it would be best if we had something more solidly evident than my own simple observations.'
Conrad smiled at this, 'Well it looks like we were both thinking along the same lines then. I was planning on stopping by a bookstore on the way back to pick up a translated text for you. I think we can work something out to find what you want. My mother said that most bookstores are now offering terminal files and translated versions of anything they can find. They can even translate and print it on the spot, you just have to wait a few minutes for it.'
'You still use physical copies of documents?'
'Yeah, we do. It is still cheaper over all to print on paper than it is to create a tablet or handheld terminal with just that one volume on it. Not o mention less wasteful. People also use them as decorations of a sort, I believe you saw the bookshelves in the living room? So, it is mostly a personal preference thing. Even to this day some people claim there is nothing better than holding a physical printed book in your hands. The demand is still there, especially out on the fringes, so the stores still exist. I guess it also serves as a soft back-up of sorts in case of major mechanical or technological failure or electromagnetic disruptions.'
Ruufarrl looked out his window, seemingly deep in thought. Conrad saw his face and features shift as he mused over the information.
'So these books are common among all human households? As is the way you prepare food and eat?'
Conrad hesitated a moment as he tried to figure out the intended direction of the questions. 'Yes. The food especially is how most people and families eat, there are exceptions both above and below that, but it is the general standard. As for the books, I would say about half of all families have a small personal library of some sort. Be it just a couple of book cases or a dedicated reading room. It is easier on the eyes too, you don't have to strain as much as when you look at terminal screens all day.'
'This question may seem rude, so please do not feel as though you need to answer. How affluent is your family? I am seeing some strong differences in what is considered to be standards of living between our people, and among others in the GalCom.'
'If I had to hazard a guess that is probably due to the severe difference in how our communities and societies formed. We are what you would consider to be middle class. We aren't especially affluent, so we can't just simply go out and buy whatever. We have to work for everything that we get and have. But, we can still live comfortably, though we may need to adjust depending on outside factors and tough times. I can see how some of the things we do would appear to be extravagances to others.
You mentioned during your lessons that your people don't hold too much stock in extras beyond the practical. Has it always been like that?'
'Not until we entered space. We had always been a warrior culture, so practicality and function was always prime amongst all other concerns. But we did once upon a time seek extraneous benefits. Once we joined the Galactic Community we settled into their standards, which are largely utilitarian and simple. I am wondering now what we may have done had we continued as we were without ever meeting the Community. We do not want now, but neither do we seek extra comforts. We simply live as we are.'
Unsure of how to respond, the silence grew until both were looking out the window and lost in their own thoughts.
____________________________________________________________
'Just what kind of Traazol nest have I ripped open?' Ruufarrl stared out the window as the City of Santa-Anna started to get denser. A warning had toned on the center terminal of the vehicle, causing Conrad to bring the vehicle down to ground level, likely a local safety ordinance.
'Is associating with Humans going to truly change anything? Will it create cultural growth, or will it create cultural collapse? How will we as a people react to knowing that the difference of living standards is so glaringly different? Will we seek to emulate it, or will we see it as a weakness of the soft and further estrange their species? We still keep some comforts, those that require skill to work. Jewelers, smiths, tapestry makers. But this goes well beyond them, and this is just one Fringe Planet. I hope those histories that he spoke of will hold an answer that reflects in their favor.'
Conrad interrupted his line of thought as he started to say something and then fell silent again. He did this a few more times, and Ruufarrl recognized it as him trying to find the compatible wording or comparisons that did not rely on unknown phrases. It was a quirk of habit that amused him when he saw it.
In the end, he said nothing, but Ruufarrl could still see him gnawing on the bone. He returned to looking out the window at the city. This was a much smaller affair than Cormorant had been. Few of its buildings reached for the skies and they seemed to follow a preplanned layout, standing in opposition to he pure chaos of the rapidly expanded Capital. It was a known issue for large and populous cities. As they grew they needed more space and fast, so they used different people and methods to plan the roadways, resulting in oddly shaped districts and roads. This city seemed to have avoided that by planning well in advance of their growth.
The people here weren't as colorful than those in the city. Their clothes were more muted and natural. 'Worker's clothes. Rugged, dependable and resistant. Or just professional.' He added the last as he saw a collection of humans in suits entering a building. Again, he saw large natural parks mixed into the city. He would have to ask about those later. For now, he didn't want to interrupt the youngblood's paths of thought as he was still working on a response.
Now that they were down on the ground level, Ruufarrl could see inside the buildings and see what they were offering. About half of those he saw appeared to be professional businesses, holding offices and meeting places. The others appeared to be shops of some kind. Many displayed clothes, jewelry, food, or some other item in their large forward windows as an advertisement. The most popular were the food stores of various types of both shopping and eating. There always seemed to be more vehicles and people around them.
The buildings then started shifting into local residences with their much smaller windows and fences and tiny natural gardens. These then gave way to homes with small fields in front of and behind the building. These places had many young children out playing and chasing one another around.
Finally, the buildings opened up again and Conrad brought the vehicle to a medium sized sprawling building. It had a large field out back that was lined with well managed trees and had a small parking lot filled with vehicles off to one side and a sign in front of the lot. Though he could not read the words, the silhouettes depicted were clashed in conflict, and he assumed it to be their destination.
Conrad opened his door as he spoke, 'Alright, we are here. Judging from the cars and the time, class should be underway. You ready?'
Ruufarrl followed suit and nodded at him as he also started to exit, 'I am.'
Conrad stopped as he got out and looked over the top of the truck at Ruufarrl. 'You said your people live as they are?'
Ruufarrl nodded at him. It seemed he had finally constituted what he wished to say. 'That is the truth as I see it. We live as we are, as we are needed to be.'
Conrad breathed deep as he nodded, 'Well, I guess there is the difference. You live as you are, and as you need to be for right then. We live for tomorrow, and for what we wish to be.' He paused again as he looked at the building, 'Right, here we go.'
Ruufarrl took a moment to follow, 'Is that truly the difference between us? Such a simple shift in direction of thought. He is not wrong. Living for tomorrow is what I myself have started to do, what I have been encouraging others to do, and what has caused trouble for me. An entire race of people like that, and with more territory that any other two or three species combined?'
Conrad waited for him at the door. With one final nod, he opened it and they went in.

Im a 23 year old muslim hijabi female. I'm in a 2 year 8 month relationship with a 23 year old Christian man. I had to move in with him and his family 6 months into our relationship. Our relationship initially started rocky. He had female friends I didn't understand their dynamic. He was very close to all of his male and female friends but he was a bit closer to his female friends and this made me uneasy. I thought I could do it be the girlfriend who could be the coolest to all of his loved ones. Sadly that never happened he threw me into a socially anxious group of 6 other people. It was hell for me I didn't know anyone but him. He kind of veered more of his attention to his friends and I felt left out. I got really anxious myself with meeting 6 people. They weren't meeting 6 people. They met 1. I met 6. It was scary but I got through it. Then weeks later they start hanging out more and I'm just there trying to make conversation but they weren't very talkative like the first time I met them..again I felt left out... long story short these experiences deemed me to have bad vibes, quiet mouse, odd. I tried another time months later apologized to his friends for being weird. They accepted my apology. Then it was the same awkward stuff, me talking too much, writing too much, being too interested in them than they were in me, double texting mostly, and asking to hang out exclusively I don't have many friends of my own due to moving constantly. As an adult making friends is so difficult. I thought in my silly mind that because they're his friends they'll definitely be mine but oh my was I wrong. They're all very nice people themselves but I don't know where it all went wrong. Me and my boyfriend had a toxic relationship dynamic. Jealousy on my side towards his female friends. Me controlling him and him controlling me. Then months later another issue came up. It was the anniversary day of my father's passing. Being a Muslim having unmarried sex is a major sin. I told him crying I have to do this for my dad. So he doesn't suffer the hell fire and I don't get in trouble with my lord. This turned rhe tables for us. We fought and fought and fought. Over and over again. It felt like it was never ending. He didn't understand the entirety of it as much as I explained to him. I remember crying my eyes out telling him please help me with this. His responses were I'm not ready, I don't want to right now, we will someday, and maybe 5 years from now. I know what you're thinking why not break up? I tried that but we talked and talked and talked and cried and I caved and said it's fine we don't have to. I completely forgot about it. For a year and a few months. Then some things happen between us, his friends and him watching porn and me not being okay with it, and tons of other petty things. Soon I moved out with my sister first until she would harass me and verbally abuse me and call me names very horrible names you shouldn't say to your younger sister. To clarify I have an older sister, sister(middle), and a brother, I'm the youngest. After that didn't work out staying with my sister. i moved with my brother my mom and his wife and my niece. It was honestly the same like my sisters verbal abuse from my brother, calling me names, picking fights with me, taking me to clubs, buying me drinks(unfortunately did do), getting me high(did not do), both of my siblings made me feel suicidal. I ended up telling my brother and facing him in front of his gf that he hurt my feelings and he got really mad and almost got physical if my mom and sister didnt stop him. What hurt the most was i was crying while i told him he made me I wanted to kill myself and he got angry and instead of comforting me he tried to physically attack me but my mom and sister stopped him. He then left to take his gf home and my mom and sister they said why did you do that why did you get mad at him If something happens to him it's your fault. They blamed my dad's death on me prior because i left with my fiance at the time to go live with him. My dad died from copd, dementia, he had a heart meter, a few strokes and high blood pressure. My aunt blames me, my mom slightly did, my sister did, not sure about my brother. My mom has never done this before I think it's because my sister was there. My older then comes to talk to me and calm me down. My older sister doesn't see eye to eye as them which made it a bit nicer for me. I felt listened to from my older sister. My mom then decided to want to leave and drive off somewhere. She does it in a way where it's concerning. You can see see her face when she's thinking of doing something like suicide(shes said it in the past so i got scared). So I kept her keys til she cooled down. She cooled down and called me inside then apologized. My mom isn't the one thats mean. My two siblings don't really respect her either. I understand how she gets caught in the cross fire. After all of this 8 months later I tried to move into a new place but unfortunately the roommate came back. So I had to stay with my bf. He was hesitant, not sure, or really worried. Currently here. I felt better mentally. I felt heard. I felt more healing but also staying here the question of marriage comes within. I feel as if I should maybe end this relationship and work on myself by myself. Currently I have no where to go but I'm working on moving. I'm about to turn 24 I wish he would respect my wishes and marry me maybe this guilt would go away but I think we're maybe we're not meant for each other. I feel like I compromised so much of my things for him but from him I feel no effort. He doesn't have a job, go to school or really go anywhere. No plans to either Currently. I told him today I love you but I love my lord more than anyone more than everything combined and he didn't say anything. I told him I'd leave even if I had to work and sleep in my car for a bit. I also may have told him if you dont marry me by a specfic date im going to marry someone from my good side of the families recommended men for an arranged marriage(no not to cousins lol) he says no dont do that then I think I have nowhere to go so maybe just stay. I'm feeling stuck. No where to go. Im saving up for a place but it takes a while with bills and saving. What do you think? Should i walk away from this man? also sorry for it being all long, out of place, God bless and merry Christmas
Sometimes I wanna just go away but I know there's a rainbow somewhere waiting for me. I know that my lord's and father's love is there. I miss my dad he was our rock. He kept the bullshit out and kept up together.

Original
I (F,27) met this person (M,32?) in 2019 in a bar in our hometown. He is a friend of a close friend and the night we met was a leaving night from his job before he joined the armed forces and left for basic training. He asked me out and we went out on one date, I wasn’t feeling it and gently told him this as one of his parents has just passed at the time and I was being mindful of his feelings. I’ve made it pretty clear now on several different occasions via text/messengesnap chat/WhatsApp(he added me on them all, and if he doesn’t get an answer on one app he will try the next until I reply). He is now on home leave for the holidays for the next few weeks which falls over my birthday. I’d planned a night with my close friends, one of which is the mutual friend we have in common. He asked me to go to dinner via snap chat and the conversation went like this…
Him: Do you want to grab dinner when I’m home? xx
Me: I don’t think that’s a good idea. Thanks for the offer tho 👍🏼
Him: Just as friends?? xx
Me: Look I’m finishing my current job on Thursday next week, I have my birthday dinner on the Friday, and start my new job on the Monday so I don’t have much free time I’m afraid 🤷🏽‍♀️
Him: Where are you going? xx
Me: ironically the name of the bar we first met in
Him: Aw is mutual friend going? xx
Me: Yep. Pretty sure he said he’s coming.
Him: Great, I’ll see you there!! xxxx
Me: …
Him: If that’s okay with you xxx
Me: Well the table is booked for 6 people and there’s 6 already going so there’s not any room left for dinner 🤔
Him: You’ll be done by 2030, so I’ll be down then xxx
I pretty much was stumped and completely missed the trap I’d just walked into. I’m 100% sure he wouldn’t see this as a friendly thing and will spend the night trying to flirt with me which makes me really uncomfortable. I’m not attracted to this person, I hardly know him or speak to him, I never reach out first but am polite in my replies and rejections but he’s just not gotten the hint and has expressed that I’ll change my mind. I know my own mind and it’s made up. He calls me pet names which from people I don’t know, I absolutely abhor. It makes me want to crawl out of my skin and set it on fire.
My question is, WIBTA if I told him not to come or is it too late now and I’ll just have to risk him showing up and making me uncomfortable? This is making me so anxious it’s keeping me up at night, so I’m turning to my favourite subreddit for some help!
TIA
ETA: A few people have suggested that I’ve being saying soft no’s to this dude. On each of the four occasions he’s asked me to hang out one on one I’ve said a hard no e.g dinners, a drive, hotel and a trip to the Christmas markets in another town. I’ve said I’m not interested in dating anyone which is absolutely true, I’m at a fantastic place in my career, starting my dream job in 9 days which I didn’t think I’d get before I was 30. I have a fabulous family, brilliant friends, and my pup who’s like my doggy daughter. I absolutely have no interest in adding a man to my life. Since this happened he has found my tinder profile which goes unused, sent me a screenshot of my profile picture with the comment of “nice profile” which I replied thanks. He then said “welcome sugar xxx”. I then called him out and told him it’s insulting to call me a pet name and to just stop because he’s been told several times not to do it. He was very offended and then asked how I was getting on with tinder. I just don’t want to cause any awkwardness with our mutual friend because he and I are very close.
ETA2: Thank you everyone for your comments, advice, and time! I have sent this dude a cease and desist message and been as blunt as I can possibly be. Unfortunately I’m not going to be able to change the venue as getting a table for a large party this close to Christmas was hard in November, it’s impossible now. We live in a relatively small town, the nearest city is about 45 minutes away by public transport and it’s a nightmare to get home after midnight. I’ve also been spiked twice in that city so it makes me understandably uneasy! I’ve also had a long conversation with our mutual friend and he understands that I feel really uncomfortable with his advances and knows to reiterate the un-invitation if this dude reaches out to him. It might not stop him appearing but if he does the bouncer and bar staff will be my first port of call so I can leave early if need be, I’ll be pissed off, but at least I have a bail out plan. Below in the comments is the message I’ve sent him with the assistance of my mum as I had a panic attack (I’m okay, I have rescue meds if this type of thing happens)
ETA3: I received a response about ten minutes ago which read “Aye whatever I’m seeing someone anyway” and then “delete my number”
One- I never saved it in the first place my dude
Two- if you’re seeing someone why are you asking me to dinner? WTF?!
Dude is a field of red flags and I’m happy it’s over with now. Hopefully there won’t need to be an update and I can enjoy my birthday in peace! Thank you to everyone who reached out, commented and awarded, you’re all very kind!
Relevant comment from OOP
I have no idea how to link pictures on Reddit but below is verbatim of what I’ve sent to this dude. Unfortunately with it being the week before Christmas, getting a table booked for a party of 6 is very difficult. We also come from a smaller town so we’re limited to the places we can go, and I’m uncomfortable going 45 minutes away to the nearest city as I’ve been spiked there on two separate occasions, and after midnight it’s expensive to get home again. There’s definitely a wave of spiking happening in the UK.
“Hi. I think you misunderstood last week when I was talking about my birthday, it’s just going to be an event with my friends and I’d rather you didn’t attend. I’m not interested in dating you, or hanging out with you one on one, as we’re not friends, just acquaintances. You’ve repeatedly asked me to do things with you when I’ve repeatedly said no. Called me pet names when I’ve said several times that I hate it, it constitutes boundary stomping in my book and it doesn’t sit well with me. I’ve tried to be nice but you’ve not taken the hint so I’ve had to be more direct. Good luck in the future.
Update
ETA: I tried to post this the day after my birthday but it didn’t go live! So posting a few days late, lol.
/AmItheAsshole/comments/rb7e4z/wibta_if_i_told_someone_who_invited_themselves_to/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
Original post above 👆
Many thanks to the kind Redditors on my original post who gave me advice. A wee update to let those who wanted to be updated on the outcome of this event. I’m currently writing this from my bed with a hangover that could floor a moose, I had an absolutely fantastic birthday dinner last night with the friends I invited! The dude did not show up as predicted (thank god) and I’ve had no further contact from him so it looks like I’m in the free and clear!
My last day in my last post went wonderfully, my colleagues threw me a mini birthday party/leaving party with cake, food, and presents when there was space between patients. Lots of hugs and some tears but all in all a great last shift. Dinner last night was brilliant. I felt beautiful after getting my hair and nails done, I took my time doing my make up and my dress fit perfectly. We went out dancing and drinking afterwards and although it was bloody baltic waiting on a taxi home, I got a lovely cuddle from one of my best friends who held my hands the whole way home because I couldn’t feel my fingers 😂
I’m tired, hungover but feel loved and happier than I’ve been in a long time. I start in critical care on Monday and I’m ready to smash this challenge!
So thank you again kind internet strangers because without you I would have suffered through last night instead of enjoying it 😊
Happy holidays wherever you may be 🎄

PART FIVE HUNDRED AND EIGHTY-TWO
[Previous Chapter][The Beginning][Patreon+2]
Saturday
Leaving everyone to argue who was doing what chores, Robbie excused himself and withdrew to his bedroom, shutting the door. He retrieved his phone from his pocket as he crossed the room and sat on the padded frame of the bed.
Looking down at the latest entry in his contact list, his next question was whether to go video or audio. Audio would be safer, but video would let him see with his own eyes that Gerry was alright or give him time to fix the problem ahead of Sam finding out about it.
Video it is.
He flipped open the video app and tapped Gerry’s name.
Annnnnd, it rang out.
“This was so much easier before I became ringed,” he muttered to himself, not realising until now that no one had ever not answered his calls. Now, it seemed to be a regular occurrence.
He was in the middle of writing a text when Geraldine Facetimed him back. Her auburn hair sat in waves around her shoulders and apart from the thick make-up, a bronzer had been applied to give her skin extra tone along with an ombre effect with her eyeshadow ranging from buttercream through to golden brown. Her lips were deep, candy-apple red and glossy and her blush brought a sharp angle to her face. Mascara coated her lashes, making them longer with a forced curl at the end and a beauty spot had been added to her lower cheek.
After a week of seeing the real her, this was a porcelain doll.
Sam will lose his ever-loving mind!
“Hey, baby girl,” he said, drawing on a lifetime of being a crowd-pleaser to keep her engaged and ensure she didn’t panic at his reaction. “How’s everything going?”
Geraldine glanced to her left, and Robbie could see the gleam of tears building in her eyes. “They don’t think Alex is going to recover,” she said, probably believing that was the most important thing to Robbie.
“Awww, shoot, sweet pea. I’m sorry.” Alex may have been an asshole, but he was still her brother, and it was clear she loved him.
“They can’t find anything wrong with him, but he’s not responding to anything they try!”
Oh, Sam. Your girl needs you right now … Robbie licked his lips, knowing even if he passed that message on, Sam couldn’t be in two places at once. “It’s okay, sweet pea. Calm down. Look at me. That’s it. Now, just breathe.” He took a deep breath and released it slowly. By the third one, Gerry had joined him, and by the fifth she had started to relax. “You know Sam’s with his dad…”
“Do you think he can forgive me for leaving without telling him? I tried! I called…”
“Gerry, it’s okay,” he promised. “Everybody has a lot on their plates now, that’s all. Sam’ll be fine about it. In fact, that’s the main reason I’m calling.”
She sat up a little straighter. “What’s happened?”
Again, his hand came up to placate her. “Nothing bad. Sam’s just going to be with his dad a little longer than we all thought. So, I wanted to let you know if he can’t get down to you tomorrow, I’ll come instead.”
Gerry shook her head. “You don’t have to do that …”
“Shhhh. I think one of us needs to be with you, sweet pea, if only to keep Sam happy.” Yes, it was a low blow to rope Sam’s happiness into the equation, but it was also the fastest way to bulldoze through her objections.
Geraldine looked again to her left. “Daddy’s running his business remotely in the other room. I was just about to have a shower and get ready to go to the gym with Mom …”
Robbie frowned. “It’s after ten, sweet pea. Shouldn’t you be getting ready to go to bed?”
He didn’t like the pained look in her eyes right before she blinked it away. “It’s okay, Robbie. I have to look my best for Sam.”
It was Robbie’s turn to break eye contact, though his gaze went up and to the wall directly in front of him in search of more patience.
Miss W had already given him Gerry’s address and he could be outside the motel in two steps. But he’d been stupid enough to take this call in his bedroom and there was no way he could explain the sudden teleportation. Not without using the phrase.
And if he waited the length of a flight, it would defeat the purpose.
“Geraldine, I need you to listen to me. Sam loves you. No matter who says what, remember that. I’ve never, in all the years I’ve known him, seen him behave the way he does around you.”
“I was his first girlfriend…”
Was?! Robbie shot to his feet, frustration clawing at his insides. “Gerry, for the love of all that’s holy, get this through your head. You and Sam are solid, just the way you are. Why in the world would you think you and Sam are done?” It wasn’t hard to guess, but he wanted confirmation.
“Sam fell in love with me because nobody else noticed him before. Now he can have his choice of …”
“Stop.” Over the last week, Gerry had been relatively shy around the housemates, but if this was what Sam was up against in private, no wonder the guy was so growly at the thought of Geraldine being alone with her family. Although the bruises were hard to deny, he’d still thought Sam’s take on Gerry’s mother had been … somewhat … embellished.
Gerry’s lips snapped shut and she looked at the floor below the camera, the pointer finger of her other hand running light circles around her shell pendant.
“Honey, look at me.”
Her eyes flicked up for a second, then away.
“I’ll be there, first thing in the morning, at the latest.” Her eyes found his once more and her mouth opened in denial, but he waved it aside and forged on. “I was coming down anyway to bring you your laptop. Sam would want me with you since he can’t make it, so it’s not a problem.”
“But … you have your own stuff…”
“Gerry, all I do these days is cook and clean. That’s it, and tomorrow’s Sunday. Even God got a break that day.” He liked the way she smiled, even as she tried to hide it. “There we go. There’s the smile I was looking for.”
“GERALDINE?!” Robbie heard a woman bellow, and Gerry cringed.
“I have to go.”
The call was abruptly disconnected, leaving Robbie with a really bad taste in his mouth. He left the bedroom and headed back into the kitchen, where the argument over chores was still taking place. “Guys,” he said, stepping over the sofa, only to be drowned out by the arguing. “GUYS!”
All faces turned towards him. “What’s wrong, sex-bot?” Charlie asked, half a second before Lucas and Boyd.
“I just got off the phone from Gerry to tell her that I was bringing down her laptop and generally checking on how things were with her.”
“And?” Lucas asked, ever suspicious.
“And, I can already tell Gerry’s mom is getting into her head again. The amount of hair and makeup products she was just wearing will have Sam going nuclear if he sees it and right now she was expected to have a shower and wash it all off to go to the gym at this ridiculous hour. My guess, to make up for not going all week since she moved in with us.”
“How long are we talking about?” Lucas asked. “Like a double workout and detox, or literally doing every missed session back-to-back?”
The latter would kill her, and it hadn’t even been on Robbie’s radar! With wide eyes, he stared at his friends, shaking his head and shrugging in disbelief.
“Robbie, why don’t you head down there now?” Boyd suggested. “Better to be sure that she’s okay than to find out tomorrow you should’ve been there tonight.”
“She just saw me in the bedroom,” Robbie answered, looking at Charlie. “I can’t explain turning up at her doorstep now without using the catchphrase.”
“Sam might not be happy if it comes to that, but I think he’ll prefer it over something happening to her when no one’s down there watching her back,” Lucas countered.
“And who says you have to be you, sex-bot? You’re a shifter. Like Angus. Why don’t you do what he does and become someone else right now to cover yourself, and change back into you in the morning.”
Robbie’s mouth fell open in shock at Charlie’s suggestion. It was brilliant in its simplicity!
Right in front of them, he shrank in height and bulked out into the only other form he could assume flawlessly. Brock’s male nurse, Murray Evans.
“Something like this?” he asked with a saucy grin.
“Who the fuck is that?” Boyd demanded.
“Holy fuck! Is that what you looked like when you came to visit me in the coma?” Brock asked, eyeing him up and down, clearly recognising the new voice.
Robbie grinned at him and nodded. “The Shadow Director of the FBI gave me this persona to get through the prison system.” He glanced at Lucas, then Boyd. “Meet Nurse Murray Evans.”
“Jesus! No wonder you sounded so different.”
“No one would ever look at you now and think you’re Robbie O’Hara, that’s for sure,” Charlie said, stunned.
“But I still don’t see a solution to the problem of getting down there now and finding out something is going on. I can’t exactly intervene as Nurse Evans.”
“Again, take your cues from Angus,” Lucas suggested. “Tell them you work for the Nascerdios, and you’re there on behalf of the Nascerdios. Technically, it’s not a lie. Murray Evans was created by the FBI’s Shadow Director, who happens to be Cora Nascerdios. And Robbie O’Hara, the uber-great grandson of Yitzak Nascerdios, is going to be picking up the tab, right? Both of those put you on the books as a Nascerdios employee.”
It was just as well Lucas never applied his logic to a life of crime, because in the worst way possible, that made sense. “If I go online and book a ticket at the hotels now in Murray Evans’ name, I should be able to just walk in and pick up the keys.” Robbie then looked at the three of them. “But what about you guys?”
They all shared confused looks. “What do you mean?”
“I haven’t got anything made up for tomorrow…”
“Oh, no,” Lucas placed a hand against his chest in feigned horror. “How will we ever survive the next twenty-four hours without you feeding us and otherwise looking after us?”
Boyd snickered and Brock pinched his lips between his teeth.
“Go and keep Sam’s girl safe,” Brock said, on behalf of all of them. “Worst case scenario, there’s about a million takeout places in this city, most of which do home delivery.” With a broad grin, he added, “And the best part of that is, someone else will have to pick up the tab for me since I don’t have any money anymore.”
“Hope you like two-minute noodles, pal,” Lucas swiped.
“Hope you like getting reported to child services,” Brock shot back, just as fast.
“I’ll take care of Brock,” Charlie said, leaning forward to kiss ‘Murray’ on the lips. “Go, protect Geraldine.” Sliding her hands over his shoulders, her grin turned sultry. “And when you get back, you and I are going to have a lot of fun exploring this side of things in the bedroom. I’ve always had a secret Chris Hemsworth fantasy.”
The three-way groan from behind her had Robbie practically snickering. “Love you, sweet pea,” he said, giving her a deep kiss before pulling away. “Be right back,” and headed to his bedroom to pack.
* * *
((Author's note: Merry Christmas everyone! It's Christmas Eve here, which means for me, my next post after this will be Boxing Day! To each and every one of you, my deepest gratitude for taking the time out of your busy days to enjoy a glimpse into my universe!))
((Also - just noticed the double 8 - Im good, but I'm not at nearly 5900 posts ... yet. Give me time... 😁😂🤣))
((All comments welcome. Good or bad, I'd love to hear your thoughts 🥰🤗))
For those who would like to support my work and read two parts ahead withPatreon!
I made a family tree/diagram of the Mystallian family that can be foundhere
For more of my work including WPs:Angel466 or an index of previous WPS here.
FULL INDEX OF BOB THE HOBO TO DATE CAN BE FOUNDHERE!!

I have two mutual friends who are roommates. One of them I’ll call (R)31 works and the other is disabled(heart condition, neurological condition, arthritis in her ribs and back, mild spinal stenosis, chronic depression and anxiety and probably more I just can’t remember them all), I’ll call her (L)30 receiving ssi $795 and food stamps$122 as her only income she pays all the utilities for the home sometimes up to $400 the other owns the home and pays the mortgage at around $250.
The disabled friend was in a bad relationship and the other friend suggested she move in with her to get away from that but I feel she is just in a far worse situation. For one (R) does absolutely ZERO house work she puts it all on (L). (L) kept up with as long as possible but it was an impossible task. One because of all of her medical conditions and to because as soon as she gets something clean and moves onto the next thing (R) Immediately goes in and re-trashes it.The house is a compete disaster like hoarder houses you see in tv. Piles of trash rotten food empty rotting food containers used qtips used pads piles of empty and full boxes/packages not a single clean dish in the house rotten food that has been in the fridge for at least six months to a year etc. This mess is all the doing of (R) the trash can in the kitchen will literally be right beside her not even a foot away and she will just throw the trash in the floor or counters, the bathroom trash can is literally inches from the toilet but she will throw used pads on the floor in the sink and hundreds of qtips everywhere they have even fallen down into the air of it into a giant pile She just throws her used dishes out of her bedroom door into the hallway and bathroom I once came over several months ago and (R) was laying in bed and I noticed some crusted stuff all over her blanket she was using and I asked her what it was and she said oh the cat puked on it and I just haven’t cleaned it up yet that pile of puke appeared very old at least several weeks old and she was just laying there in it in her bed like it was some thing normal. She has a cat that she lets P and defecate all over the house all over everything and she does not clean it up she will just step in it barefoot and just walk through the house dragging it across the house and get into her bed and get the feces in it. Her cat has ruined many belongings of (L) many of the things are irreplaceable her cat even completely destroyed (L) couch that was in the living room . Her cat Peed all over it and completely shred it the leather. me and (R) we’re standing in the living room and her cat just starts running its claws down the couch shredding it to pieces and she doesn’t say anything at all she just completely ignored the cat.
she did however recently do some thing that I consider animal abuse but I don’t know if legally it would be considered animal abuse. Her cat Peed on something in her room and she didn’t do anything about it at the time she went to work came home then the next morning while she was in the kitchen making food waiting at the microwave she took a pair of hair clippers and picked her cat up and threw it on the microwave stand held it down and shaved a big strip of fur off the cats bag. She then proceeded to laugh and tell everybody about it like it was something hilarious I found it sickening. She also does not take care of her cat it is left to (L) to do she feeds the cat twice a day every day gives it water cleans the litter box if she was not doing this the cat would just be dead it would’ve start to death or dehydrated to death. (L) does have three cats of her own but they are very well behaved they don’t scratch anything up they don’t destroy anything and they don’t urinate and defecate all over the house they are also very friendly where as (R) cat is fairy skittish unfriendly runs away from people hisses and claws which I believe may be caused by abuse from (R).
Every time (L) goes to the restroom she has to use cleaner on the toilet because (R) somehow leaves urine, feces and period blood on the toilet seat and down the toilet and floor. (L) has tried to clean and upkeep the house another mutual friend went over and (L) and her cleaned the whole house and even (R)s car, In the mean time (R) went and played computer games,ate and slept the entire time did not help at all. The only thing clean in the house is (L)s bedroom. It is kept exceptionally clean and she keeps a bowl plate spoon and fork in her room that she cleans after each use and keeps in her room so it doesnt end up in the horde.If it is ever brought up to (R) she needs to clean up the house, pick up after herself ask her to help clean she will immediately fly into a tantrum. She will start yelling and screaming that she doesn’t make the mess, it’s not her, that is (L) etc and that she “always cleans up after herself” bc of “how her mother treated her when she was young”. I would like to mention that (R) was never abused we have all known each other since middle school and know her mother very well. if anything she abuses her mother. A quick example would be her mother ask for help with something she will yell at and call her mother stupid. When she brings up her supposed abuse its things like her mom telling her to take a bath every night or brush her teeth.
Just yesterday (L) slipped in the trash in the kitchen and seriously hurt her back she was unable to walk and in severe pain and ended up having to call an ambulance because she physically couldn’t move. If a fire were to break out there would be no way to quickly escape as there’s no clear path through the house. I believe it is also a falling hazard which was just proven, and unsanitary especially for someone with so many medical problems.
Besides the hoard I believe that (R) is also verbally, mentally, emotionally abusive. Such as she will open and go through (L)s mail/packages. Once (L) found important paperwork from dhss she should have received months ago open in (R)s car. If a computer or phone is left open (R) will immediately go through it read text, emails go through photos. She will even messaged people from others accounts as that person. And it is often negative things trying to start fights insulting that person etc. She has even done that to me and another friend as well. I’m sure when (L) is not home she also goes through her room.
(R) stalks people online and in person. She will sit and refresh Facebook pages over and over and as soon as one of the people she is stalking post something, commit on something shares something etc she will immediately comment a novel on it about how that person is wrong and she’s right. She gatekeeps any and everything these people do. Such as someone could post “I love cheese, Americans my favorite” she would immediately jump on there and leave a novel about how American cheese isn’t even real cheese and that person is stupid and not a real cheese lover if they don’t even know that. She also goes way out of her way just to drive by these peoples house. One of them she has been obsessed with since high school. She tells stories that he was obsessed with her but I was there and saw him turn her down twice the guy doesn’t even remember her name. She will come up with situations like day dreams/lies with these people and tell the stories like they are reality. She at one point was trying to physically hurt one of the people she stalks. This person I’ll call(T) is a mutual friend. (R) was trying to invite her to things like tubing in the river in hopes she would get hurt. She would tell us stories about how it would be funny if we invited this person and she bashed her ankles into the rocks or was thrown out of the tube and got hurt. She also tried to poison that person with mushrooms which they are severely allergic to. She was telling us that she is probably lying about being allergic to mushrooms and it would be funny if we put them in the food to prove she’s a liar like if we sautéed mushrooms and hid them in that person‘s food and she also said that it would be funny if they did that and that person got severely sick. We fortunately were able to shut that plan down we told her yeah if she did do that and that person got sick then she would go to jail which I think scared her out of doing it . (T) has since completely blocked her on everything because she was fearing for her safety. After that friend blocked her she found out that the rest of us in the friend group were still talking to her and she threw one of her multi day yelling screaming messaging tantrums saying that one of us is a liar and a traitor and going behind her back and slandering her and that person can go to jail for it and that whoever it is needs to confess and if they don’t they don’t deserve the Christmas presents that she got them and she will take them back and that we should be grateful to her because of all the things that she has done for us in the past. And then she proceeded to list things that she has done in the past such as present given on birthdays or holidays or giving a needed ride home from work or letting one of us borrow money which we did pay back by the way .
She has had possession of (L)s food stamp card for the past two/3 years the time they have lived together she says it is because it is easier if she holds onto the card In case she needs to stop at the store and pick something up for (L) but she never does (L) buys all of her food online Walmart + and Amazon. (R) also uses the card to by herself food and buy food for parties and events she goes to. Once (R) tried to use the card and it wouldn’t register so she text (L) and went home yelling at (L) that she changed the pin on the card. Which I don’t believe she should be using to by herself food in the first time and (L) did not change the pin (R) was typing it in wrong.
Anytime that(L) has dated someone or been in a relationship(R) Will talk about how horrible that person is and how she hates them and she will throw yelling angry tantrum‘s at(L) about how she spends too much time with that person and she’s gone too much and she doesn’t spend enough time with her and she’s neglecting her and they never have time to do anything together. Because of this she has ruined several good relationships that she had.(L) ended up ending these relationships because she was manipulated by her and felt bad for her.
(R) Will also do things like offer to drive(L) two doctors appointments and she will be ready to go but I think on purpose she will make her late to the appointment and while she is in seeing the doctor she will send messages complaining about how long it’s taking when is she going to be done maybe she should just leave she’s starving she’s tired it’s so hot etc. and she knows that doctor appointments are extremely stressful for (L). But she will on purpose make her feel bad for going to them. And after the doctor appointments(L) always buys them food like I think the last doctor appointment she took her to(L) then spent $60 on sushi for her. I honestly don’t think that she wants her going to doctor appointments because she fears that the abuse might come to light and the doctors will intervene and she will lose control of her. So she tries to make her feel bad about going into the doctors office so that she won’t do it anymore and it’s not like she didn’t offer and not like she’s not getting paid back and food afterwards. I have noticed that since this has been going on (L). Depression and anxiety has greatly intensified and she has stopped seeing her doctors regularly which she is supposed to be seeing her primary care doctor neurologist heart doctors mental health doctors but she has stopped seeing them because of the stress that has been put on her and she feels bad about going to the doctor now so she is also off of mini medication she needs such as the ones for her heart .
She bullies people both her friends and people in public she will purposefully loudly say things about people that she knows they are self-conscious about just to tear them down for fun and she always make sure to say it loud and when we are surrounded by people. And while bullying and tearing down others she will say narcissistic things about herself. Such as I am the only one here with a sexy body so the pictures should focus on me or I’m the only one dress nice so you should take pictures of me.
She also does disgusting things in public such as at restaurants she will sit there pulling her shirt down rubbing and squeezing her breast popping zits on them pulling hairs on them she will dig in her nose and eyes and then eat the booger and crust off of her finger she cut her finger nails at the table and then put them into a little pile and pick the pile up and put them in her mouth. She will say loud inappropriate things like my pussy is going to stink after this I’m going to blow my ass out after this . And any Time any of us especially (L). Has tried to defend themselves against her constant bullying or has try to tell her that her behavior is not appropriate and please stop she will immediately fly into a yelling screaming tantrum. She will bring up any and everything she has ever done for you in her life and say how you should be grateful to her for it. Such as anytime (L) tries to defend herself against (R) she will start yelling and screaming at her and saying I’ve done this for you and that for you stuff like you would be homeless without me you should be grateful for me and all I’ve done for you because if it wasn’t for me you’d be out on the streets.
(L) along with all of her physical and mental disabilities came from an actual abusive household at the hands of her mother and stepfather. Social services intervened but they did not do enough because as soon as the case was closed they immediately proceeded with the abuse The abuse lasted from around the age of eight until she moved out at the age of 17. It was both severe physical and severe mental and emotional. Such as her and her siblings were beaten by a wooden pole by her stepfather until their butts and legs and lower backs were completely black and they were responsible for taking care of the house and their younger siblings. She is the oldest of eight children and her and the second oldest were completely responsible for all of the house care all of the cooking and watching and taking care of the younger children. If they did the smallest thing wrong like they swept and there was a crumb left on the floor they would be severely beaten, made to stand in the corner on 1 foot with their arms up in the air for hours , locked in their bedroom or the bathroom without food for extended periods of time. So I feel like just because of that she is more easily frightened into standing up for herself and she is easier to manipulate and use and abuse because that’s what she learned growing up and because of fear. And in a way (R) is right she manipulated (L) into moving in with her thinking that it would be a good place a good healthy place to live and has just completely taken advantage of her. She also knows that (L) cannot afford to move out because of how little SSI disability pays out to disabled people in this country. So it’s like she knows that she is stuck there and can do whatever she wants to her and she has no escape.
I also noticed that(R) gaslights (L) A lot. If (L) mention something or bring something up (R) Will call her a liar saying that she didn’t say or do that thing she will retail events completely different than how they happened, she will also take other people stories that she has heard and tell them as her own stories. Once she even told(L) that she is a liar and that she can’t believe anything she says because she has mental disabilities. I believe she goes out of her way to try to make(L) feel like she is crazy. I have on many times witnessed an event happened and then(R) completely change the story and events and call everyone else a liar.
I really don’t know where to start with getting her help or who to contact. I’ve contacted two different chat sites one was for domestic abuse the other was for crisis. And after telling them all of this they basically said that they can’t help the domestic abuse one said they can’t help because they aren’t a couple which I don’t think it really matters if they are dating or not because they still live together and the other one I think the person was just overwhelmed with everything I told them and honestly was just as stuck as I am.
Where should I start? If I report it the horde to the city what would happen? The house is currently being paid for through mortgage would the city condemned the house would the bank repossess the house? This worries me because(R) Will just move in with her mother. But it would just leave(L) on the streets. I also fear that if I try to get involved like I try to report the abuse that it will just be blown off as nothing and it will just make things far worse for(L). One because she will be pissed that someone reported her and two because she will know that even though someone reported her nothing happened so the abuse will just intensify.
I have gathered evidence of I think everything I’ve mentioned I took pictures and videos of the entire house that show things such as the names on all of the boxes and packages and mail all over the floor and the belongings all over the floor the type of trash and food that is all over the floor also (L). Bedroom which is always clean. I also have screenshots of a lot of the stuff that has happened on messenger and text. Me along with multiple other people including the people that she stalks and harasses online are all witnesses to everything that has been going on.
I’m sorry I know that this is super long but in reality this is just a very short summary of all the things that are going on and I personally am not associating with(R) anymore at first I was but I didn’t want her to be around my son but now I don’t want to be around her at all because I don’t feel anyone who is around her is safe. And I really truly fear for(L) because she is stuck in the same house as her and what if she does something like tries to poison her or something. I’m afraid to make a move because I’m afraid it’s going to be the wrong one and she is going to end up poisoned dead hurt missing or thrown out of the house homeless. Could someone please give me advice on where to start, resources for abuse of a disabled adult that is not an intimate partner or family member such as help with moving out finding her somewhere she can afford to stay? This situation is 100% urgent and I think things are just getting worse by the day.Thank you in advance to anyone who read this entire thing and to anyone that has any advice at all .

This is the story of how an argument between two beards destroyed an entire larp. This story is real, about real events by real people. There are no heroes, no catharsis at the end. But also no one has to move to Bel Air. The conversations are not word for word, it has been almost ten years.
Characters:
OP- your humble narrator, living his worst beardery phase of his life during this story, 30 man from mainland Europe who sadly hasn’t realized he is a Beard and thinks he is a nice guy, not realizing he is a Nice Guy (I have gotten better, I promise)
GM-beard (or just GM)- nerdy man from small rural town nearby, a few years older, interested in most things nerdy and not so much of anything else, I don’t know if his neck is beardy since he sports the most fashionable hairdo ever, the mullet
Elfenwoman- mom figure of our RP Guild, really into all types of games. Motto: “I’m in, what are we playing?”
Fjord- The ancient of our Guild, person who writes characters like Nicholas Cage decided how to act. Awesome person and gamer.
I had known GM for years at the start of this story, he was member of the RP Guild in my college town. He was a genuinely nice person and we shared tons of interests. He had always been an odd person but not in a bad way. He never had a “real” job but rather worked in local youth groups or similar project works or sold his handcrafts or collected unemployment benefits. One large source for his income was turning Bratz-dolls into other characters and sold them. I once bought a housewarming gift from him, it was Future Foundation version of Mr Fantastic. Overall he is gifted with his crafts and great at cosplay. But he can be irritating. I know many people who have stopped answering his phone calls because they know that he can talk to you for hours without pause about anything. Lets say there is something you like, beer and titties. He can talk to you so much about beer and titties that you become a teetotaler yaoi fanboy just to avoid talking with him.
True story. One time in a Con, 8 am. I had just woken up and sat on a table trying to figure out what would help me reboot my brain, food, shower or something else. Suddenly out of nowhere, GM arrives all perky and happy (his normal mode).
GM: OP, good morning, how are you?
OP: Grumgb (this is Con-slang, translates to “I can’t have higher brain functions at the moment, do not attempt communications)
GM sat next to me and ask me:
GM: Have you heard about Sith alchemy?
Before I can answer he starts talking about Sith Alchemy. I sat there wondering if I really was awake when after about 15 mins of GM talking and me pretending to listen and not once saying anything some random guys walked past us and one of them stopped.
Random Guy 1# : Hey, did you mention Sith Alchemy?
GM: Yeah I was just telling my friend about…
RG1 and GM start talking and I slip away. 2 hours later I ran into GM again.
GM: Hey OP, I was wondering where you went.
OP: Hi, yeah I said I was going to get breakfast.
GM: Oh, I missed that part. Did you find any?
OP: Yes. So where are your friends?
GM: Oh those guys? I don’t know who they were. They left after we talked about Sith Alchemy.
OP: Wait, you didn’t even know that dude?
GM: Nope. So anyways, what’s your plan for the day?
OP: Well my first game is in an hour then I have to get ready to run my Larp.
GM: Cool. I’m off to put my cosplay on. See you later.
He was 2nd in the cosplay contest that year with his OC.
So yes, he can be annoying but he doesn’t mean it. Also, I have to note. He is not hateful, misogynistic or racist in any way. Also I don’t know (and don’t care) if he is on any sort of spectrum. Not my business.
And now the story itself.
The story starts after new year of 2012. We are at Elfenwomans place to celebrate the combined birthday of Elfenwoman and GM, the exact dates are about a week apart. After some serious dice rolling and eating a Cthulhu-cake Fjord hands GM a gift envelope and asks him to open it. Inside is a booking receipt, she has booked a local venue for him to use as Larp location. The venue is and old medieval style roadhouse near and medieval stone church, perfect for larping. Fjord explains that GM has talked about his plan for a Larp set in his OC world. It had been a few years since we last ran a game for outsiders and last time was a huge success.
Everyone present was exited, he had been telling us about his Larp idea for years and we all promised to help him with the project. After all, he had been planning for years and had written (in his own words) 200 pages of back story for the world. And that was the first problem. He had written it in his own words. He is not dyslexic but his grammar is awful. When one of us started editing his material it shortened about 30 pages simply by removing unnecessary empty spaces between sentences and by crating paragraphs.
Imagine if I wrote this story like this.
This story would seem long.
But it wouldn’t really be any longer.
So we were set on planning. But first, let me talk about the world itself, because knowing about the world is essential in understanding the story itself.
As far as I know he hadn’t read Song of Ice and Fire at that point (trust me, if he was into some piece of nerd culture, he would tell you). Also GoT started airing in December of 2012 in our country so he hadn’t seen it at this point. Still since SoIF/GoT is well known piece of media I will draw comparisons between the worlds for easy reference.
Also the GM has many original ideas, but he wasn’t consistent with them. Like he has idea A and idea D, but to connect them he just handwaves it or uses some cliché.
The world consisted of one gigantic continent. On south-east corner was island nation of Not-Quite-Federal Japan. Xenofobic and isolated kingdom that had been ravaged by plague and now the 1000 remaining islanders lived in isolation. Across the ocean, on south end of the continent was Not-Quite-Preislamic-Araby, vast desert dotted with city nations. Land of mystery and danger but also culture and science. Majority of the continent was split between the Not-Quite-Roman Empire in the west and Not-Quite-Holy-Roman-Empre Kingdom in the west. North from these countries were the Grey Mountains and beyond that, frozen lands populated by barbarians and monsters.
He had wide selection of monsters written in his world. Some, like werewolves, were just carbon copy of the classic creatures. And then there were monsters like his vampires. In this world vampires were parasitic plants that took over human bodies, forcing them to feed on blood. As time went on and the parasite grew stronger the human host eventually died and the plant started to turn into a tree. Elder vampires were sentient trees who lured people to turn them into thralls. Thralls would bring more humans to their master and would over time earn right to root themselves near their master. Over time these vampires would form dark and gloomy death woods.
The remote places of the world were populated by Ancients. They had their unique name, but they were the humanoids who ruled the world a thousand years before humans rose up and took over the world. Now their cities lie in ruins and they are forced to live as barbarians, dreaming of old days of glory. How they were described in the backround was hilarious and during the project (and even years after) we joked about the Poopmonkey game. The Poopmonkey game was to be second part of this Larp series. In that game every player would be a member of this race. Everyone would wear a hairy suit and we would sit around a campfire talking about astrophysics and philosophical differences between souls of humans and ancients. If at any point some heretic would bring up the idea if inventing the wheel he would be called an idiot and people would throw poop at him. The GM also laughed at the joke, I think it was because he felt that if we make jokes about future games we are interested in the world. And we were, we really were!
The Kingdom also had paladins. Again, they had their own name and the name was stupid. Imagine GoT having Wes-knights. To become a squire you had to meditate without eating for a year. No, not fasting, they had to remain a year without food. We pointed out to GM that if you can sit still and not eat for a year, you are already quite magical. But yeah, they were paladins. Good and devoted magical knights who rode along the roads of Kingdom, seeking evildoers and protecting the innocent. Every one of them had special Wes-sword, magical blade that were all unique and powerful weapons of Goodness. Which is why every story GM wrote about them had them either turning evil or being rotten bastards before even joining the order. Those who were actually benevolent were easily manipulated to do evil. GM explained that he “needed his world to have shades of grey”. Because that’s how deconstruction works. After all, that is why the Starks are beloved in GoT. In a world filled with plotting and backstabbing they are the most vile and cruel family.
GM didn’t have a map for his world. At the beginning we asked for a map and he told us that he didn’t know how to draw one. We pressed this saying and he insisted he didn’t know how to make a map. Despite being good at drawing. So I got to work. I googled a while and downloaded a map of Soviet Union. I then opened the image in MS Paint, rotated the map sideways, removed everything within the map and drew borderlines with brush tool according on what he had written. I had no idea of the size of counties/duchies and simply divided the Empire so that they were all the same size. Added a few larger lakes and mountains. Novaja Zemija and other large islands were pushed south and became Not-Japan. Took me 5 mins and I showed him the map.
OP: This, can you draw something like this?
GM: How, how did you do this?
OP: What? I just slapped this together to show you how easy it is to make a rough map. Now please draw us a rough map of what your world looks like so we have easier time planning things.
GM: Can we use this? Do we have your permission to use this map?
OP: What? Well sure, why not.
And that became the base for the official map. I think its best I don’t say anything more about that.
The world was also not a happy place to be if you were a woman. All marriages were arranged and women had pretty much no rights in the Empire (a bit more in Kingdom). A woman was set to be legally under some man her entire life, either father, brother, husband, or if they weren’t present a set servant (major domo, trusted man etc). Noble women and members of rich families had rights for divorce and inheritance, but were expected to use their status and money to seek a new husband. Woman might hold power de facto, but de jure all the power was in the hands of her caretaker. But there was a village somewhere in Kingdom (GM never explained where). This was the village of monster hunters. For generations they have trained their members to become monster hunters, who leave the village to hunt monsters (no, I don’t know if GM has read the Witcher). In this village the women had the right to abandon their position as a woman and accept the same position as a man, accepting the same rights and responsibilities as any man. GM wrote one character from this village, a woman who was a master hunter. And well… a love child of Naruto and Goku would be less of a shounen hero than this character was.
But now for the plot. The game was set in northmost duchy of the Empire, divided into three counties (lets call them Northside, Seaside and Southside). Northside was barren area ridden with barbarians and bandits. Seaside was rich and rather peaceful. And Southside was something in between. Some years ago a new count was appointed to rule over Southside (Northside and Seaside had been more stable in this regard while in Southside they had replaced the door to counts mansion with a revolving door). The new count was an old war hero of imperial cavalry who was given a noble status, a hold to die in and men to bury him. And this was our first problem in writing. GM wanted him to be more dark and brutal, while I thought a more noble and sad character would work better. Basically my version was “what if Barristan Selmy had accepted Joffreys offer” while his was “what if Meryn Trant had been given the offer”. After few years of ruling the county (poorly) a war broke out between Northside and Southside. The war started out small (skirmishes over the border to steal cattle) but escalated over time. Seaside remained neutral with its lesser nobles supporting either Northside, Southside or both. The war ended on the spring of second year of fighting when the Emperor finally decided that enough was enough and sent imperial cavalry to stop the fighting. But it was too late, the old count had died in the last battle.
And that is the setting for the game. The Old Count is dead, the imperial forces have taken over ruling of the duchy and people around north and beyond have gathered for wake and funeral.
The game was set to have about 60 characters from all over the world, with both nobles and commoners, northern barbarians and southern travelers. We planned this game for six months. We had 75% of the characters ready, people had already started paying the entry fee, most of the props including the corpse of Old Count were ready. And then, one Friday the game was one month ahead. And next Monday everything was canceled.
So what happened? Over time I became official 2nd GM. Other people were ok with this, after all I had written most of the characters (or I had written some part of 80% of all characters to be more precise) and me and GM had constant discussions of everything related to the game in our forum, where we did most of the planning. Also I hosted our biweekly writing events. And I created a organized table showing all the characters and their connections to one another, so that everyone could keep track of where we are going and what needs to be done. Over time me and GM started to have clashes over things. There were three arguments that in the end killed this game.
First was Nu Nord. I thought this world was too dark and designed a secret organization. This group started as a few nobles who wanted to protect their peasants. If your peasants aren’t eaten by wolves or murdered by bandits, they can pay their taxes on time. Over time it expanded into a shadow organization of people who fought corruption and crime. They weren’t heroes, most of them just didn’t want people dying in vain and wanted common people to live a peaceful life. Or had selfish desire to live in a better world and other peoples happiness was just a byproduct. And this was too much for GM, “too much goody-two-shoes will ruin the game, we need to add some darker shades to make this group interesting”.
He also attacked the name I had chosen. I tried to explain that the group wanted to see their home area becoming something new and better, if not for themselves then for their children. He said that the name sound like a Neo-Nz group and insisted of using the name Swidden (as in slash-and-burn farming) to reflect how they “burn away the old world and give a chance for new to grow”. I tried to explain that this is the opposite of what the group tries to do. And then brought in character Vladimir and changed the story of Rose. Vladimir was son of the count of Northside. The count was known to be a manipulative, crook and untrustworthy. Vladimir was worse. Imagine if you take Ramsey Bolton and remove all the mind games and sick sense of humor. GM wrote in his backstory a part where he was summoned to judge a thief. The thief was a small child, his mother a widow and mother of six small children. The thief had stolen bread to feed his siblings. So Vladimir had him and a random sibling crucified as mercy, since now the mother had less children to feed.
I pointed out that for the goals of Nu Nord they would fill Vladimir with rocks and dump him into nearest swamp. But GM insisted that Vladimir had the qualities and skills that the group would desire. He wrote some backstory for the group and Vladimir but never finished it.
Then there was Rose. Rose was a servant of a noble couple involved in Nu Nord (the current leader couple in fact). Rose didn’t know much about NN, she was just a servant girl in a noble mansion. The nobles had sent Rose as a spy the Old Count. NN knew the Old Count was not fit for their ranks but still needed to keep an eye on him. Rose was set in a difficult position, she was alone in a strange place without solid support net. So she did what she could to be more close to the count in order to gather information. And this is where again we clashed. In my version Rose meets with Old Count and finds him as a sad old man, who had devoted his entire life to serve the Empire and was now cast aside to die alone in distant part of the land. Rose and Old Count found comfort on each other, both being alone in life. Over the years they became friends and even more. After the count died no one cried more genuine tears than Rose. Specially since she found out she is carrying his child. Now that the count is dead she is facing a dilemma of what to do. She is carrying a child without a father. No one would believe her if she tried to declare the child as rightful heir to the count. Or maybe her true masters would. But then what? Would her child become a tool in nobles fight over the title of count? Or maybe she can leave this all behind, choose the burden of raising a bastard child of the man she loved. Or maybe she can join a group of travelling minstrels and finally start living her own life. GM didn’t like this. In her version the Old Count was lecherous drunkard and Rose was pretty much forced to use her body in order to gather any information from the count for her masters. Now with the count dead she alone knew about the child. And if she tells her masters she would be forced to nurse a child of her abuser. This is my bias but I felt that my version was more complex and open for plot opportunities. I know some people like to have very dark and/or complex plots for their characters, so this is just my opinion.
This all mixes more with the second argument.
The mage character, Magda. The world had magic. GM had written a pretty generic magic system, where magic was a gift from Gods. Some individuals were born with talent of connection with the Fountain, from where their souls would drink and grant them mysterious powers. I wanted the game to have a mage character (it is fantasy game after all) and wrote one of my favorite characters. It’s not the best character I have written or most complex, but it is one I have had most fun writing. Magda was a daughter of merchant from Northside who at a young age discovers that she has a power to alter minds of other people. Her family is afraid of this power and send her south to train in mages guild. She is accepted into the guild and trains as a telemancer (mage with power of telepathy). Over the years she trains in the guild, makes friends, learns more about the world and even makes connections with other characters that would be in the Larp. She returns home and is accepted back to her family. Now as a grown woman and guild artisan she has a set place in the world. Through arranged marriage she has a family of her own. But as a mage she is never truly trusted and has to fight for every piece of respect. In the aftermath of the war she accidently discovers the true identity of person responsible of the war. But this person is a noble so she can’t just openly accuse him, especially since she found out by reading his mind by accident and without permission. Revealing the truth would bring harm to the noble who is an ally of her family and loyal servant of the count of Northside. So she is torn between duty and morale. I liked this setup and gave her a small spell list. Four one-shot spells, silence (target can’t speak for 5 mins), 2 truth spells (next thing the target says must be true) and mind scan (target must reveal something about a something the mage asks but only the mage hears the answer). I posted the character on forums in 4 parts because this was (and still is) the longest character I have ever written. The GM read it all since he commented it along the way so I kept writing. And when I was done he dropped this bomb. “You need to rewrite this. You can’t have those spells in my game.”
OP: What is wrong with them?
GM: Spells like that ruin games. I have been in too many games where those things are used to reveal secrets at wrong times. Like with Rose.
OP: You sound like 5 mins into game some noble will drag Rose to Magda and force her to ask “are you pregnant with the child of Old Count”. What would require insane amount of metagaming. And even then no one can force Magda to do that. She is a guild artisan, not a slave.
GM: Didn’t you read the page 127?
No, I had not read page 127 of his backstory. The magic was described in pages 80-82 so I didn’t look at page 127. It was the part talking about social culture of Empire (yes, I admit I should have at read this better when reading about his world). Mages are not trusted in the Empire (I knew this already, it was said in pages 80-82) But on 127 I found out that when mages discover their powers they and sometimes their families, are sent to deat…re-education camps where they are kept for the rest of their lives. Those 10% who get out of the camps are given guardians to follow them around and kill them the moment the mage starts to become dangerous. The released mage is forced to serve the Empire for rest of her life.
This would have been nice to know. I have no problem writing a dark character. Or rewriting this character as someone from Kingdom or north beyond Grey Mountains. Heck, let’s go wild and make her a wandering mage from Not-Japan. But after I had written 12 pages he tells me to rewrite 90% of the text because he couldn’t bother to comment on it earlier. I couldn’t believe he could pull a dick move like that. No one has dick that big. Not even Long Dick Johnson and he had a fucking long dick. Thus the name.
But before we could talk that over, the last problem hit the table. The Vampire plot.
So, the vampire plot. The GM decided one day that he wanted to have vampire present in his game. Because he was proud of the vampires he had created and well he was right, his idea for vampires was cool. During one our writing meetings we came up with the idea that the Old Count had been bitten by a vampire before the war and what people thought of him suffering from drunken delirium or battle lust in war was actually the vampire side taking over. He died before turning into a pure vampire and thus was never found out. All right, simple and safe to this point, said the captain of Titanic.
Enter Madame Lucia. Lucia was the last member of Lefurgey family. As the youngest daughter of a small noble family (Southside) she was destined to mediocre and simple life, but then her family died over the years and soon she realized she was only remaining member of her family. No one had arranged her a marriage or taught her anything about ruling. Her legal guardian was her male cousin, who had married into another family leaving Lucia last to bear her family name. Lucia decided to take initiative in her own hands. She started to be more active in local politics and tried to gather allies for herself. During the war she sent as much assistance to the Old Counts army as possible. Now, with Southside in political turmoil, she seeks to carve herself a place in the world. To make herself stand out she even hired a group of traveling monster hunters from Kingdom as bodyguards (thus we had a reason for the hunters to be in game). Simple character, with some noble politics, some romance. Great for a someone who is new to Larping and wants a character with simple motivations, I thought and sent the character to our forum. Oh what a sweet summer child I was.
GM decided that Lucia was perfect for the Vampire plot. The plot was set like this:
Some weeks before the game Lucia was bitten by a vampire. She doesn’t know what has happened and most of the time is in control. But occasionally the vampire takes over and causes her to shriek and shout or attack others. The GM had set one of his old player friends to play Lucia and had scripted her to have a scene like this early in the game (enough to draw attention but NOT enough for the monster hunters to recognize her as a vampire and attack her). Later in the game, group of Ancients would appear outside, making noise and trying to steal food, clothes etc. (Wheels?) This would draw attention of everyone inside the wake hall (after all, the men must protect women from monsters). Enter the Thief. Thief is part of travelling band of jesters who has been hired by the Client to steal the burial mask of the Old Count. With the distraction the Thief perfect opportunity to sneak to the corpse of Old Count and steal the mask. But when the Thief removes the mask he sees Old Counts face twisted into a vampiric grin and in horror falls on the ground, alerting other characters back to witness the same. Also when the Thief falls he would drop the mask. The mask then breaks and reveals the Secret Message hidden inside. At this point the hunters would have to take over and set up the corpse to be destroyed. At the same time Lucia would realize what has happened to her and be forced to seek help. But can she be saved or will she be destroyed by her bodyguard?
Remember, this is from the guy who thought that truth spell would ruin the game. I pointed out that if he insisted on having this plot in game, why use Lucia? We had at that point 6 characters we hadn’t even begun to write and three noble women with no plot in game. Why take one who was basically ready and alter her entire character? But no, I was just upset and didn’t understand the purpose of this plot.
These three things led to me and GM having heated arguments in forums and over phone. Arguments spread over several days and halted everything. I called him overcontrolling and not focusing on what needed to be done before rolling in new plots. He called me a jerk who was never happy with character ideas that other people created. I asked, pleaded Elfenwoman and Fjord to moderate us, to look over the characters, to do something. But in the end, it was too little, too late. On Friday GM posted a message explaining how he no longer felt like running this game and left the project. I wrote my own message following his where I said the same. At this point Elfenwoman and Fjord noticed how bad the situation was and tried to talk sense to us but it was too late. Our friendship was saved with the agreement that we would NEVER gamemaster a game together. I also promised to never gm a game set in his world. It was too dark for me.
So where are we now? As far as I know he has never ran a game in his world and hasn’t spoken to me about running one. I adopted (with GMs permission) two of the hunters (the one he wrote and her apprentice I wrote) to Larp series I DM, where they hopped from their own world into mine.
The End

We've been together 5 years. Now engaged. Immediatly after we started dating we became LDR and two monthes after visiting him every weekend and having deep talks I realized he didnt want to consider kids/wasn't really interested in marriage and I was dead set on having at least one child someday but wasn't set on marriage. Instead of leaving him when I had thoughts that we were incompatible or talking to him more I started talking to my ex. After a day or two of that we decided to hang out and I remember avoiding texting my bf that day. I hung out and eventually told my ex my concerns and he assured me he would 'wife me up in a heart beat and give me all the kids I wanted' and held my hand and I thought I could what I now know is called monkey branch. That night I stayed at his house and we smoked weed and we made out and started what I'd call jerking eachother off while laying down and before either of us finished, reality of what I was doing, or who I was doing it with, not with my bf, it hit me then but honestly I was so stoned and awkward I told him I just wanted to go to sleep. So we fell asleep and I awoke to my family banging on the door asking for me and rushing me home, and at home chastising me for my obvious actions. I spent that morning sobering up and thinking on if I wanted to actually leave my bf and be with my ex but it hurt my heart thinking I'd lose my bf and that's when I knew I really cared about him. Now I just had to confess to my bf, hope he forgives me and believes I regret every decision I made leading up to and including the cheating. Because it was cheating. And to this day I hate myself but I'm getting ahead. That afternoon after I sobered up I brought my af(?) back to my house to sit and explain that I love him as a friend and person but I didnt want to pursue a romantic relationship and as of then couldnt be friends either. Everything was a mistake and its all my fault, I'm sorry for involving him. He seemed dejected but wished me luck and from the moment he left I have had 0 contact with him. Blocked and ghosted. He has never tried to contact me either as far as I'm aware. That night or the next (I dont remember I have memory issues already and weed didnt help) I went to pick up my bf for the weekend like usual, intending to sit him down in his room and lay it out but when I pulled up his friends were already hauling his TV and PS and stuff to my car (they did that occasionally for him as he was staying with me all weekend) and so I waited till they loaded it up and he sat in the front sest and they walked away. Maybe I should have had them take it back up but I just remember wanting to confess asap. I then told him I had made out with my ex and we held hands. I cried and apologised and told him I would understand if he left but if hes willing to Id like to be with him and regain his trust. I dont know why I didnt tell him about jerking eachother off or falling asleep at his house but now I think its because I knew it seemed more innocent with my 'trickle truth' version and I was trying to still protect myself instead of telling him Everything. It didnt seem scummy to do to him at the time but I wish I had told him I really do. But that night he forgave me and I've been loyal and dedicated since. About a year later we moved in together and we've lived together ever since. We've been through a lot these last 5 years supporting eachother in various life events but I think I buried that memory for my own sake. Last year (2020) I had my first mental breakdown since before I met my bf and it was so bad I ended up in a mental hospital (that was my 7-8th time) and I'm just now starting to really recover from that cause during it I had relived past trauma unrelated to this and then the guilt related to when I know I betrayed him and it mixed together like I deserved my previous trauma because I was destined to be an evil person by my own hand so idk. Aparently I was in the midst of psychosis but since then Ive recovered but the specific guilt of not telling him the whole truth is now in the forefront of my memory and I need to tell him. Not long after I got out of the mental hospital he proposed amd of course I said yes but then a family member of mine passed and I broke down again and I went back into the mental hospital becuase tbh ive got 3+ mental disabilities if that explains why ive been to so many mental places but yea he proposed and I've been slowly recovering mentally but Now we are looking at houses together in the real sense, not just the apartments we've been renting. And when I ask my family if I should tell him everything Im told to just forget about it and 'deny till I die' but that doesnt feel lile I'm doing right by him. I love him and I want him all to myself forever but I want him happy and healthy and I know he deserves to know the full story. I want to tell him asap but I'm scared. I'm scared for myself and I hate myself for it. But I have to tell him right? I want to. But is telling him only going to hurt him and make me feel less guilty? What do I do?? Please give me advice..
If there are any questions I'll answer as best I can anonymously. If you need me to elaborate I can try.
And can I add that at this point in my life, I'm scared of having children and raising them without traumatizing them and getting married sounds nice but what if my low libido makes him miserable? And Now he wants a kid and to get married and I want to spend the rest of my life with him but now I'm scared. Am I just psyching myself out or are we actually incompatible? Our odd music tastes are similar, we like the same hobbies and watch the same shows and both love long debates on series lore and we both love creating stories and world building amd we both love our cats and helping stray cats with the extra catfood we keep in the car for strays and we both like hiking (once a year), walking at night, hanging out at nerdy places or being introverts. We both like dark humor and I cuddle him and buy his favorite foods and he makes me food and wakes me up with kisses. I love him and his laugh and the way he smirks and sits and when he farts and trys to pretend it didnt happen and how he kisses my forehead and holds me close when he sees the anxiety in my eyes amd I love my life with him and I dont want to lose him...but I dont deserve him, do I?

So my friend Jason sets me up on a date with this guy Kevin. I'd been unlucky dating, so he shows me a picture. I think he's somewhat nice looking, so I agree on the date. He calls me the day before and we have a conversation. He seemed nice enough, though he did go on and on about his career as a 5th grade teacher for longer than I'd asked, and he hardly asked me any questions aside from what kind of restaurants I liked. I named several, but at one point, which I guess he'd taken a little too literally, I mentioned that I liked spicy food.
So he's supposed to pick me up at 6:30. It's 6:41, and without so much as a courtesy text letting me know he'd be running a bit late, he comes speeding down my street and literally slams his brakes once he reaches my driveway, skidding several feet and leaving tire marks which remained out front for about a year. He sees me standing at the door, and as I exit my house and begin walking in his direction he suddenly slams on the horn. I wave frantically to get him to stop, but he continues until I reach the door.
I hear the lock click and get in. I say hello and hang onto his stare for just a moment. He remains silent and looks me up and down as I'm pulling the seatbelt across my lap. I sit back, exhale, and notice he's staring somewhat 'intently' (creepily) into my eyes. I think he was trying to be 'sexy', but he lacked the swag to attempt this 'ladies' man' stunt. Feeling a little uneasy that we were still sitting in front of my house, I break the ice with 'you ready?', politely smiling. 'Nice shoes. They look expensive', he says, despite my shoes being shrouded in darkness underneath the glove compartment.
So we're driving along, and I immediately begin to sense his lack of confidence, which I kind of felt bad about. I understand the pressure on guys when they take a new girl out. He's asking me what kind of music I like, feverishly clicking through stations anticipating my response. I decide to test him. I want to see if he has the backbone to stop at a station HE prefers rather than pandering to my preference, so I casually throw out 'country'. Disappointingly, he starts desperately turning the dial until he gets to the country station, and then quite literally BLASTS it when he reaches the station.
At this point I know that unless he's some sort of magician, there's nothing he could do to save himself from the flaming dumpster fire that this date has turned into, so I just mechanically begin going through the motions. The drive was an exercise in futility. There's no icebreaker or even awkward conversation. At this point I'm mostly convinced that he's just inexperienced and timid rather than weird. He's driving erratically and glancing over at me nervously over and over. I'm afraid he's going to run a red light and we're both going to die.
We get to the restaurant finally - Selam Ethiopian Kitchen. I shit you not. If you're ever in the Chicago metro area, look it up. Guess he really took to heart the whole 'spicy food' thing. 'Ethiopian?', I ask. 'Is it good???'. 'Awe, yeah. I love it'. 'Okay'. My bullshit barometer is through the roof, but I set aside a sliver of hope that maybe he knows what he's doing. We sit on some pillows on a floor. I'm wearing a bit of a skimpy dress, so I'm instantly uncomfortable. He leans back and begins flexing his chest through his button down cloth shirt, unbuttoning the top button and commenting 'it's getting hot in here' while suggestively shooting me the most gracelessly cumbersome bedroom eyes I've ever received.
'I was right...', he begins in a weirdly 'whispery' voice, followed by the uselessly redundant comment '...your shoes do look expensive'. I actually giggled and covered my mouth, giving a knee - jerk apology for basically laughing in his face. The waiter comes over and hands us menus, asking us what we'd like to drink. There's a short pause, I presumed to be chivalrous, allowing me to order first, but as soon as I begin speaking Kevin holds up his hand, and says 'eh...the lady will have a water with lemon, and a glass of Chateau St. Pierre'. I interrupt with 'actually can I just have a Diet Coke?'. Kevin then interrupts me once more, looks at the waiter, and comments 'I insist'. The waiter gives me an awkward glance which I reciprocate, and looks back and Kevin, and politely asks 'so...what am I bringing?'. Kevin's overconfident masquerade instantly melts away and he says 'Diet Coke'.
At this point I just want out. I'm not a difficult girl to take on a date. I've had many dates where a guy doesn't display the utmost degree of confidence, and understanding the pressure they're under, have granted them a break, and many times, even a second date. But this was an utter trainwreck. I start to generate surface - level small talk in hopes that he might start asking me questions, actually wanting to get to know me a little, but instead he starts going on and on about his 'kids' (students), calling them 'bastards', callously referring to one as a 'shit head' (yes, he used that term on a date), and even brags about other female teachers who, to quote him, 'would kill to be in (my) position right now'. At this point I'm trying achingly hard to hold back laughter.
The food eventually comes and we begin eating. He orders a plethora of appetizers, which he voraciously begins inhaling, very impolitely. I'm convinced he's asking me useless questions like 'where did you grow up?' and 'what is your job history?' (is this a fucking job interview?) just so he could shove food into his mouth. He's dumping copious amounts of hot sauce on his food while reminding me that he 'loves spicy food', though before the main course comes, I notice that he's dripping with sweat. I ask him if he's okay. He's chugging water like Aron Ralston after five days in the canyon and repeatedly calling the waiter over for piles of napkins to dry off with. His arm pit sweat is branching out toward his ribs. And then I get an ill feeling when his stomach starts grumbling and he's sitting forward straining his neck so hard his carotid artery looks like it's going to burst and start showering me in his blood.
By now I'm in such disbelief that I feel like I'm watching a movie. 'Are you sure you can eat more of this stuff?', I ask him, genuinely getting concerned. 'Oh...', he begins before holding his fist to his mouth and burping. 'I always react this way to Ethiopian, but I love it'. I begin to recoil, thinking he's going to projectile vomit rice over my shoulder while pleading silently with God that the date end as soon as possible. Because I knew nothing about African food, I had absolutely no clue what he'd ordered. So the waiter shows up with this tray of half a dozen plates. He sits two in front of me. I ordered some chicken dish with vegetables. And then he removes several of Kevin's appetizer dishes and sits down four plates piled to the fucking ceiling with meat and rice and whatever.
I try to continue the conversation, but realizing he only likes to talk about himself, I ask him some mundane question about his dating history, to which he replies, in between more rapid burping, 'wouldn't YOU like to know...'. I decide to abandon all polite decency at this point since he's made the decision to act like a complete dick wad, trying to play the 'mysterious' card with the wherewithal of a thirteen year old, and I say 'okay. Well I guess this date has hit a wall'. I suppose I did him a favor ending the date before it had actually ended. 'I'll be back', he mutters, jumping to his feet and pretending to take a call (despite his phone not ringing), and he walks off to the men's room. And he's gone...for fifteen minutes.
I start to wonder if I can catch an Uber or maybe even leave with a random, possibly murderous stranger before he comes sauntering out with the phone still up to his face, the entire front of his shirt so sopping wet that whatever patches of dry spots left appear like a cluster of tiny islands on a world map. The rest is the ocean. He sits back down and starts unbuttoning to halfway down his shift. I can see his soaked wife beater underneath. I'm frantically texting friends at this point, begging to get picked up, and I actually score. My friend Melody agrees to hurry down now. I want whatever traces of excretion that are on his fingers from whatever the hell went on in that bathroom to stay where they are, and seeing as he awkwardly placed his hand on the small of my back (and partially on my ass) when I entered, I assumed this to be a certainty. 'Yeah, yeah...okay, I HAVE to go', he nearly yells into the phone.
'Ugh...', he burps. 'Fucking principal is on my ass. Sorry I was gone so long'. Treating the date now as a source of entertainment, I indulge him. 'What was THAT all about????', I question, sending a text to my friend to hurry. Mind you, this was the very first time I'd touched my phone all night. This asshole just got up and left me alone for almost twenty minutes, and he then has the balls to say 'I'm giving you five seconds to stop looking at your phone or you're paying for dinner'. 'That's it...', I say angrily, throwing my hands up. 'I'm leaving. Please don't follow me'. 'Calm down', he says. And the last thing that came out of his mouth, spectacularly, was 'so...do you like Italian food?'. I jump up, drop down a $10 for the tip (which I would have at least insisted on anyway), and graciously left him to stew in his own perspiration.
As I'm leaving, the waiter catches my eye, smiles somberly, and laughingly whispers 'I'm so sorry'. I wished he'd have taken me out. I waited in the freezing cold on a random street corner on Broadway in the city of Chicago for ten minutes until I finally get picked up. I exhale, and let the anger and anxiety wash over me. I text Jason, who set us up, and told him it was a disaster. His response - 'haha... damn, I'm sorry. I hoped for once he wouldn't be like that'. 'For once'. Jesus. It didn't end there. Kevin began sending a barrage of angry texts calling me a 'whore', 'bitch', and bizarrely, 'Indian - giver' (I'm still trying to figure out what that even means).
Later that night, Jason sends me a text. Mind you, I've blocked Kevin. I open the text and it's a screenshot. Kevin went on his own Facebook wall and posted '(my full name) gives shitty blowjobs'. I immediately begin freaking out, when Jason sends me another, reading 'don't worry. I told him he could lose his teaching license for it', telling me Kevin had taken it down. I searched this guy just to be sure, and it turns out he did, in fact, delete it. Still, a piece of me died that night. My hope in humanity is several degrees lower than it was before, and will remain that way forever until I hear that this guy has been struck by lightning and extinguished from the face of the earth.
Maybe a year later, I brought Kevin up at a party where Jason was, discussing bad dates around a fire. Jason, after my story, expelled one interesting little anecdote about Kevin was which evidently took place after me. He'd been set up on another date. I have no idea who the girl was or how it occurred, but she ended up going home with him. Apparently they pulled up in front of his house, and Kevin said 'hold on, I need to just clean up a little. Gimme a second'. He shut the car off and left the girl inside in the freezing cold for a half hour while he cleaned his filthy house. She said that when she entered his house, it was 'absolutely disgusting'. When I asked what happened next, Jason said 'I don't know, but after she got home, she called me crying'.
Not even Kevin has ever disclosed the details of that night. My guess is...well, now that I think about it, that's a guess I'd rather not take.
The End

I'd like to hear what you guys think about something my gay son said to me. (I apologize if this isn't the right place for a question like this.)
'Mike' is 17 and came out to my wife and me a couple of years ago. He's a great kid--smart, funny, and kind--and my wife and I have done everything we can to support him. What frustrates me so much is not that he's gay, but that I can't truly know what he's going through and how to help him. I'm hoping that someone who was once in my son's shoes might help me understand his situation.
Last July, our family vacationed for a month in France (we live in the US) with my wife's brother and sister-in-law at their home outside Paris. In our first week in France, my son met a French boy ('Jacques') at a soccer game that I let him attend. They became fast friends almost immediately, which thrilled me because I was worried that Mike might get bored by the end of the trip. Since my son had never dated before, I was surprised when he and Jacques started developing feelings for each other. Soon they were doing everything together, even asking if we could take Jacques along on our sightseeing excursions. By the end of the trip, my son was begging me to let him stay in France for another month so that he could spend more time with Jacques, but of course that wasn't possible. He was heartbroken when I told him that he and Jacques would have to continue their friendship/relationship by text and Zoom meetings once we were home.
I was sure that once my son went back to high school that he would quickly forget about Jacques, but shockingly, he and Jacques have been video-conferencing and texting for hours almost every day since we've been home. Mike used to spend a lot of time with his friends and in extracurricular activities, but now he races home right after school so that he and Jacques can Zoom together for a few hours every day before Jacques goes to bed (due to the time difference). Sometimes it seems like my wife and I hardly see him any more, and I've heard some of his friends say that too. On weekends, he and Jacques often talk for many hours at a time.
Moreover, my son has actually begun teaching himself French so that he and Jacques (who speaks great English) can communicate in both of each other's languages. I am amazed at how easily my son is picking up the language, as well as how much fun he seems to be having with it. He says he is in love with Jacques, and by this point I think I believe him.
I'm extremely conflicted about the situation. Jacques seems like a great kid, and my son thinks the world of him. But Mike is neglecting almost everything else in his life (except his studies--he's still an excellent student) for the sake of a relationship that seems ill-fated. I can't see how the boys could possibly spend much time together for many years to come, and I know how high-school romances tend to end. I told Mike that he should try to spend more time with his friends here at home, and perhaps even to eventually meet a boy with whom he could actually spend time in person, but he uncharacteristically flew off the handle when I suggested this.
Mike told me that I have no idea what it's like to be gay, and how lonely it is for him. (Even though, as I said, he does have plenty of straight friends.) He said that it's a 'miracle from God' that he met Jacques, and a miracle whenever any gay guy meets someone special because there are so few gay men around. When I suggested joining a gay-themed club that his school sponsors, Mike was derisive. He said that no one cool ever goes to those meetings, and there are no interesting gay guys at his school anyway. When I asked him to put some self-imposed limits on how much time he spends with Jacques, he told me that long-distance relationships require more time and effort to succeed, and he accused me of trying to sabotage his best and maybe only chance of having someone special in his life for years to come. He said that I shouldn't take for granted how happy he and Jacques are.
It's certainly true that Mike is as happy as I've ever seen him. I looked at my son's phone a few times (I'm sorry, but you can't be too careful these days), and the conversations that he and Jacques have are very tender and sophisticated. They help each other with their homework, play games together, discuss the news, and just generally talk about each others' lives. (There's also some sexting going on...) I'd feel horrible if I tried to put an end to something so important to my son, so for now I've mostly acquiesced to the current arrangement.
Now Mike is asking me if Jacques can come stay with us for a couple of weeks during Spring Break next year, and if we would pay for half of the expense. It's so important to him that he's asked me if that can be our Christmas present to him, and now I'm trying to decide if I should make him that promise for Christmas. It's a major expense for us, but I suppose it's not something we can't afford. Although they're both mature young men, they're still only 17, and I wonder whether they could possibly make this relationship work with all the obstacles involved (money, Covid, different nationalities, etc).
I think I would take a dimmer view of all this if Mike were straight and in love with a girl overseas. But is he right about how hard it is to be gay? Is this really the best chance he might have in life to find someone special? I never told Mike this, but my wife and I cried the night after he told us about his sexuality. We thought about how much harder his life will be--including how much harder it would probably be for him to find a life partner--and we worried about whether it's even possible for a gay man in our society to enjoy a happy and fulfilled life. I would never want to stand in the way of my son pursuing what could be a lifelong relationship with a person he truly loves, but I also don't want him to miss out on so much of his high-school and young-adult years. I'm curious to hear what older gay men have to say about this. How do you think I should handle this situation?
Thanks in advance for your insights and advice.

let me just start with that i intentionally pursued him.
i began my first job in June 2019 and at that time i had a “boyfriend”. i say that because both of us were not committed and lasted until August 2019. by that time, i started noticing my coworker (my manager but not my big boss) who i knew was way older than me. i found him attractive, nice, and just the sweetest thing ever. i would purposely talk about the breakup with my ex and get advice from him. i could never tell if he was flirting with me because he was just one of those guys… likable.
i remember this time i was leaving for my break (after i started growing some feelings) and we were extremely busy so i suggested for me to give my number to him so he could call me if he needed me while i was gone. yes, i had done this with another intention, but to me, it all worked out fine. he was wary at first to except but i took some of the receipt paper and wrote my number down anyway and put it on the counter and walked off. nights later, we started texting a bit. it wasn’t too frequent but i was flirting with him and i was hopeful he was doing the same. weeks later after working with each other almost every shift and texting, he invited me over to his place in October 2019.
we started officially dating in November 2019. he quit his job in December but not because we were dating but just because he had a better work opportunity.
i do have so many regrets but i love this man from the bottom of my heart. there’s nothing i knew he wouldn’t do for me. we have been a secret from our friends, family, and anyone you could think of.
yes, this has taken a toll on the relationship because we haven’t been able to do regular things couples do. i hear all these stories of how in other people’s situations they were groomed, but if anything i pursued him. yes, i know he should have said no, but i also wanted something to become of this and it did. i know i am ashamed of myself for letting it get this far, but we both knew what we were getting into. now, i am so in love and i don’t want to just end things because we haven’t been able to go to a restaurant and eat, walk together outside of our apartments, or just literally anything.
i will admit it’s been exhausting to keep up with the lies to my friends and family and i know he feels the same. we’ve talked about ending things several times to make our lives “easier” but we just keep going back to each other… i asked him if we will ever be able to meet each other’s families and he just said probably not. what is the point of this relationship? i don’t look forward to getting married or having kids… this isn’t about that. i just want to be normal. we are both so scared society will shit bricks… and we both know they will if they find out.
idk guys… what do y’all think?

I was sitting at my work desk playing on my phone texting someone and laughing the whole time I was supposed to be looking around for a robbery suspect but I didn't feel like doing it and no one seem to care enough to tell me to get off the phone.
' Officer Riley what the hell are you doing?!' A voice snapped making me jump.
I put my phone down and saw my boss Mr. Smith standing in front of my desk with his arms crossed and giving me a hairy eyeball as he does with everyone else that makes him mad or upset.
Mr. Smith is a scary man he yells all the time and never smiles not that I've seen, and he drinks his coffee straight black no sugar and no cream I think he might be part vampire I'm not sure.
' Sorry sir I thought I could play not my phone for a few minutes there's not going on right now except for a guy who stole a purse full of candy,' I said grinning at him.
In case you didn't know I'm a cop well more of a rookie cop I've only been working for the police force for two months and all I've gotten to do was write parking tickets and tell teenagers not to set off fireworks in a public place.
I was the kind of guy who liked action and adventure I signed up to be a cop or police officer because I thought I would be able to catch bank robbers not catch guys who can't tell the difference between money and candy.
' What are you even doing on the tech box chatting with your girlfriend or playing games like angry birds or whatever you teenagers do on those things,' he said giving me some jazz hands.
I groaned under my breath I couldn't have any fun but then a guy came up to us saying a house had been broken into and we needed to go there super-fast.
Mr. Smith gave a thumbs up to the guy and pointed at me saying I was going to help him with this case I was so excited I then reached out to grab my phone and he told me with a very serious look on his eye to leave it and I did.
A few seconds later we were both on the road driving in our Police car well more like Mr. Smith's car he doesn't let anyone drive it because he thinks we'll all ruin it or something.
I told Mr. Smith while reading the case file that the house we were going to had multiple break-ins in the past few months and Mr. Smith laughed about that.
' Um - sir I don't think that's very funny,' I said looking at him and then looking back down the file that was in my hand confused about what was going on in Mr. Smith's head.
' Riley look this is probably a prank a plan to get us over there to shoot up and take our stuff I've seen things like this before,' Mr. Smith said.
A few minutes later we pulled up to the house and then parked in front of the mailbox and got out of the car as we climbed up the driveway I stopped and looked at the house.
It was kind of old looking at it looked like a tornado hit it the roof wasn't much better, and the grass was overgrown up to my knees almost and I was hoping there wasn't anything lurking around in the grass.
' Riley get your ass over here now!' Mr. Smith yelled from the front porch.
I then ran over to the front porch and smiled at Mr. Smith who just rolled his eyes and he pointed at the doorbell, and I pushed it hearing the doorbell go off.
Mr. Smith then put his hands behind his back and made his feet that were in his shoes touch each other like he was in the army I didn't do that I just stood how I normally stood.
The door then opened, and an older woman opened the door and smiled telling us both to come inside and then we both did walking into the house, and we then walked into the living room seeing a man sitting on a dirty-looking couch.
' So do you two care to yell us what's wrong?' Mr. Smith said crossing his arms staring at the couple.
' Someone broke into our house we went out for a date night and when we got back home, we found a window open upstairs and it was scary,' the woman said sounding nervous.
Mr. Smith looked at me and told me to go upstairs and then go check out the upstairs area and then I headed upstairs by myself.
I had a gun in my hand in a flashlight attached to it and I headed to the room where he saw an open window and then I looked around the room, but I did not see anything messing and I rubbed the back of his neck confused.
' Nothing is missing?' I mumbled looking around.
I headed out of the room and started checking the other ones nothing was missing and then I noticed that there was a room with the door closed and I grabbed the doorknob ready to open it.
But the door didn't open I tugged on it tighter, but it did not work, and I groaned under my breath the door was locked and it made me groan again.
' Don't touch it!' A voice yelled from behind me.
I jumped about ten feet up in the air and turned around sticking my gun up ready to shoot anyone that was behind but there wasn't anyone there.
I then ran down the stairs and nearly bumped into Mr. Smith who was talking to the couple when he saw me, he asked what happened and I told him everything and he grabbed me on the shoulders telling me to calm down and I did breathe heavily.
Then we left and Mr. Smith asked me what happened at the house, and I didn't feel like telling him leaning on the window of the car as we drove to the police station.
I asked him what happened with everything else, and he told me a whole story, but I didn't tell him about the voice I heard because I knew he would probably laugh at me.
A few hours later I was packing my stuff to leave to go home I said goodbye to everyone and then I got over to my motorcycle and yes, I know I know a motorcycle.
I then got on to it and then drove off down the street to my house and a few minutes later I got home, and I parked into the driveway and then I got off and turned it off before heading into my house.
I didn't have a girlfriend or a pet, so I was always alone and as I walked into the house throwing my bag on the ground and headed into the kitchen to grab some food and drinks.
I grabbed some ice cream and beer from the fridge and then I sat down on the couch popping the ice cream cubby open and I turned the TV on started eating it watching the TV.
' Can I have some?' The voice I heard before asked.
I jumped and then looked around I didn't see anything or anyone I was starting to freak out but after a few minutes, I put the ice cream away so it wouldn't melt and then I yawned, and I fell asleep on the couch snoring a bit too I could feel drool coming out of my mouth.
Just then I heard a loud ringing and I jumped up and rubbed my eyes I saw it was light outside and then I saw my phone sitting next to me where did it come from It was in my bag last night.
I grabbed the phone and saw it was Mr. Smith I gasped and pushed the answer button and he asked where the heck I was.
I told him I fell asleep and then Mr. Smith told me to come over to the station because I was going to be late, and he was going to tell the boss not to pay me for being late to work and I groaned under my breath where he couldn't hear me.
I then got up and then got dressed and got ready as fast as I could before I ran out of the house and then I hurried to the station and then I ran into the building and ran into Mr. Smith.
' Where in the blazes were you, Riley,' he said shouting at me sounding angry at me and I was scared he was going to hit me or slap me on the face.
' Sorry sir I got home tired I then fell asleep on the couch, and I didn't hear the phone ringing but what's the problem,' I asked him
' Remember that house we went to last night well we need to go back there something else happened this time stuff was stolen so let's hit this freak show again get to the car,' Mr. Smith said.
We both got into the car and then we drove away from the station and into the neighborhood where the house was, and I was looking out of the window thinking about the voices I heard at the house and last night when I was eating my ice cream.
When we got there the couple was waiting for us and said we could look around when we walked into the house, I gasped there was stuff all over the floor and one of their windows was broken like something had been tossed through it.
' Ok kid here's are plan I'm going to look downstairs, and you'll check upstairs again as last time got it,' Mr. Smith said as he pulled out his gun.
I gave him a thumbs up and then we headed to our spots, and I headed upstairs, and I sighed softly I had to go through all those rooms again and it was going to suck.
I looked around the rooms one was the couple's bedroom most of the jewelry was gone and I noticed a few books from the shelf in their room were gone this was getting weird.
I then started walking down the hallway checking all the other rooms and then I saw that the door to the room that was shut was open and I looked at the stairs hearing Mr. Smith talking to the couple downstairs.
I looked at the room something was pulling me into the room, and I walked into it noticing it was a kid's room there were pink sheets on the bed and a dollhouse in the corner and a bunch of other things that little kids or little girls loved.
I then stopped I saw a little white dress laying on the ground and it looked brunt and there was black Ash all over it and I picked it up looking at it confused.
' Hey, what the heck are you doing in here young man!' A voice behind me snapped making me jump.
I turned around and saw the old man standing there with his arms crossed and then he saw the dress I was holding, and I dropped it smiling then he grabbed my arm and dragged me out of the room growling under his breath.
We heard talking as the man dragged me down the stairs and then we walked into the living room where Mr. Smith was talking to the lady and the man cleared his throat and the two stopped and turned around looking at us.
He was squeezing my arm very tight, and Mr. Smith asked if the man was ok, and the man told Mr. Smith about it and Mr. Smith glared at me with an angry look on his face.
Mr. Smith said he was sorry and then told the couple that he would send a team to check out the house for more clues they said thank you and then Mr. Smith grabbed my arm and dragged me out of the house and threw me into the car and we drove off.
' What the hell did you do Riley?!' He asked in a very angry voice.
Great his going to kill me I thought as I crossed my arms in anger.
I didn’t say anything for the whole ride back to the station when we got there Mr. smith grabbed me by the arm and then took me over to my desk telling me to sit down and to stay there until he talked with the boss.
I just sat there thinking about all the kid stuff I saw in that room then I had an idea I pulled out my phone and started looking up the house and then I found a whole history page about it and started reading halfway through my mouth fell open in shock and I stopped reading it.
“Two years ago, a horrible fire broke out in the Gregory household the two parents managed to get out of the house but their young child a seven-year-old girl didn’t make it and she died in the house when the firemen came to put the fire out, they didn’t find the body of the girl just the white dress she had been wearing the night when the fire took place the cause of the fire was never found out” I read to myself.
Then I got called into the bosses' office you might have been thinking Mr. smith was the boss but no he isn't his like to baby boss and Mr. rivers is the real boss so in I went, and he looked at the chair telling me to sit down with my eyes and then I shut the door before sitting down in the chair.
“Ah, Mr. lee how are you doing this week?” Mr. rivers asked smiling at me with his big blue eyes.
“Um – ok,' I said nervously here comes the shouting and the screaming.
“Then what the hell were you thinking going into someone’s room like that in their house did Mr. smith ask you to look in that room did the couple ask you to look in that room no they didn’t, but you just waltzed in there like you owned the place!” Mr. River’s snapped banging his fist on the desk.
“But sir the door was just opened I thought no one would notice besides I found out some great -” I was cut off because Mr. rivers held up his hand for me to stop.
“Look Riley I don’t care what you did but you broke our code of rules here as a police officer I have it in my right mind to fire you but I'm not going to do that I'm going to be civil and give you a warning and say if you do something like this again, I am going to fire you understand?” Mr. rivers asked looking at me with a hard cold look.
“But sir – I understand,” I said sadly.
I then stood up and walked out of the main office and headed over to my desk where I started putting my stuff into my bag ready to go home and do what I always did eat food and fall asleep on the couch I didn’t even say goodbye to Mr. smith I just headed off and back to my house.
When I got to my house, I turned the lights on and shut the door throwing my bag on the ground and locking the doors before sitting on the couch maybe I wasn’t cut out to be a cop and then an idea popped into my brain
I was going to quiet to the police force.
I was going to call Mr. rivers tomorrow and tell him I wanted to quit the police force maybe find a nice quiet job I was thinking about the way I wanted to say it in my head and then I ended up grabbing a notepad writing a few chats down but none of them seemed to work.
Days turned into weeks and then I watched as my job changed, we didn’t do that much exciting stuff just gave people tickets and other small things I looked at Mr. smith wanting to ask him what he talked to the lady about but decided not to because was still angry at me.
After the horrible day, I decided to go for a walk around my street and then I walked around for a few minutes until I stopped at the corner and then an idea popped into my head, and I felt a smile spread over my face.
I decided I was going to check on the house where the couple lived so I ran off and a few minutes later got to the house.
I noticed their car I saw the lady time I came over wasn't in the driveway so they must be gone so I headed to the Front door.
When I got onto the porch, I grabbed the door at first, I thought it would be locked but when I grabbed the knob and twisted it the door unlocked and opened with a loud squeak.
I looked inside and noticed that the lights were on, so I walked into the room and my eyes went wide in shock.
Everything was gone all the furniture was gone even the pictures on the walls and carpets were gone.
Just then I turned around and saw that the door was closed and there was a note stuck to the door.
Dear young one
We are sorry if you're reading this note it means we're gone, and the house is empty and has claimed you as its next victim.
PS: we never meant to kill our baby girl.
I gasped quietly then balled the note up and threw it over my shoulder I reached out and grabbed the doorknob and opened the door, but it didn't work it didn't open.
' What the hell?' I mumbled confused about what was going on.
Just then I heard that laughing I heard last time I was here I jumped around looking around and my eyes landed on the stairs.
It was coming from up there that's where that little girl's room was, so I had no choice up I went.
I looked in all the other rooms everyone was empty except for the wallpaper and the house's floor.
I came back out into the hallway and heard the giggles again they were coming from the door I looked at the last time I was here.
I walked up to it and looked at the door which was now closed and had a cute little sign on it.
Welcome to Grace's room it said in bold white letters.
I grabbed the door knock expecting it to be locked but it wasn't opened, and I saw a room standing before me.
I walked into the room and looked around it wasn't all burnt up like the last time it looked like a little girl's room.
'What's going on am I going crazy?' I asked myself looking around the room confused.
Just then there was a loud bang from behind me I turned around and saw the door was shut I ran over to it trying to open the door, but it wouldn’t open it was locked it not opening and I banged on the door asking for help, but I knew no one could hear me.
Then I heard laughing coming from behind me I turned around and saw a little girl who looked to be about nine she had long blonde hair that went past her shoulders and she was wearing that white dress that I found on the floor of the room.
“Grace?” I mumbled under my breath.
“Yay a new friend to play with!” Grace said excitedly clapping her hands together.
Grace looked different instead of her dress being covered in dust and ash it was brand new looking.
And her hair was shiny like it hadn't been touched in two years by dirt then she looked at me.
' Will you play with me, mister?' She asked me grinning at me Sweetly.
I suddenly felt sick, and I grabbed the sides of my head and put my hands over my ears I could hear her voice going in and out of my brain and I fell to my knees on the ground
' Will you play with me?' She asked in a deeper tone.
I kept struggling I didn't want to play with her I had to get out of this house I couldn't let her take my freedom from me.
But then I stopped, and I felt my hands fall to my sides I felt like a zombie, and I probably looked like one, but I didn't care about anything except grace.
' Will you play with me now Riley?' Grace asked poking me in the nose.
' Yes, I will play with you grace,' I said in a zombified sounding voice.
Grace clapped her hands together giggling evilly then she held out her hand for me to take.
I didn't think about anything else I took the hand and stood up and I noticed that her eyes were completely white.
But I didn't care about anything, not my family or my job or anything I cared about that only thing I cared about was playing with Grace.
' You'll be my best friend forever Riley?' She asked looking up at me with her completely white eyes.
' Yes, grace I will I promise I'll never leave you alone or leave the house alone,' I said in my zombified voice.
Then grace giggles again and then she told me what she wanted to do, and I felt an evil grin spread over my face it was time for my revenge on this sick excuse of a town with my new friend.
The End.

I was sitting at my work desk playing on my phone texting someone and laughing the whole time I was supposed to be looking around for a robbery suspect but I didn't feel like doing it and no one seem to care enough to tell me to get off the phone.
' Officer Riley what the hell are you doing?!' A voice snapped making me jump.
I put my phone down and saw my boss Mr. Smith standing in front of my desk with his arms crossed and giving me a hairy eyeball as he does with everyone else that makes him mad or upset.
Mr. Smith is a scary man he yells all the time and never smiles not that I've seen, and he drinks his coffee straight black no sugar and no cream I think he might be part vampire I'm not sure.
' Sorry sir I thought I could play not my phone for a few minutes there's not going on right now except for a guy who stole a purse full of candy,' I said grinning at him.
In case you didn't know I'm a cop well more of a rookie cop I've only been working for the police force for two months and all I've gotten to do was write parking tickets and tell teenagers not to set off fireworks in a public place.
I was the kind of guy who liked action and adventure I signed up to be a cop or police officer because I thought I would be able to catch bank robbers not catch guys who can't tell the difference between money and candy.
' What are you even doing on the tech box chatting with your girlfriend or playing games like angry birds or whatever you teenagers do on those things,' he said giving me some jazz hands.
I groaned under my breath I couldn't have any fun but then a guy came up to us saying a house had been broken into and we needed to go there super-fast.
Mr. Smith gave a thumbs up to the guy and pointed at me saying I was going to help him with this case I was so excited I then reached out to grab my phone and he told me with a very serious look on his eye to leave it and I did.
A few seconds later we were both on the road driving in our Police car well more like Mr. Smith's car he doesn't let anyone drive it because he thinks we'll all ruin it or something.
I told Mr. Smith while reading the case file that the house we were going to had multiple break-ins in the past few months and Mr. Smith laughed about that.
' Um - sir I don't think that's very funny,' I said looking at him and then looking back down the file that was in my hand confused about what was going on in Mr. Smith's head.
' Riley look this is probably a prank a plan to get us over there to shoot up and take our stuff I've seen things like this before,' Mr. Smith said.
A few minutes later we pulled up to the house and then parked in front of the mailbox and got out of the car as we climbed up the driveway I stopped and looked at the house.
It was kind of old looking at it looked like a tornado hit it the roof wasn't much better, and the grass was overgrown up to my knees almost and I was hoping there wasn't anything lurking around in the grass.
' Riley get your ass over here now!' Mr. Smith yelled from the front porch.
I then ran over to the front porch and smiled at Mr. Smith who just rolled his eyes and he pointed at the doorbell, and I pushed it hearing the doorbell go off.
Mr. Smith then put his hands behind his back and made his feet that were in his shoes touch each other like he was in the army I didn't do that I just stood how I normally stood.
The door then opened, and an older woman opened the door and smiled telling us both to come inside and then we both did walking into the house, and we then walked into the living room seeing a man sitting on a dirty-looking couch.
' So do you two care to yell us what's wrong?' Mr. Smith said crossing his arms staring at the couple.
' Someone broke into our house we went out for a date night and when we got back home, we found a window open upstairs and it was scary,' the woman said sounding nervous.
Mr. Smith looked at me and told me to go upstairs and then go check out the upstairs area and then I headed upstairs by myself.
I had a gun in my hand in a flashlight attached to it and I headed to the room where he saw an open window and then I looked around the room, but I did not see anything messing and I rubbed the back of his neck confused.
' Nothing is missing?' I mumbled looking around.
I headed out of the room and started checking the other ones nothing was missing and then I noticed that there was a room with the door closed and I grabbed the doorknob ready to open it.
But the door didn't open I tugged on it tighter, but it did not work, and I groaned under my breath the door was locked and it made me groan again.
' Don't touch it!' A voice yelled from behind me.
I jumped about ten feet up in the air and turned around sticking my gun up ready to shoot anyone that was behind but there wasn't anyone there.
I then ran down the stairs and nearly bumped into Mr. Smith who was talking to the couple when he saw me, he asked what happened and I told him everything and he grabbed me on the shoulders telling me to calm down and I did breathe heavily.
Then we left and Mr. Smith asked me what happened at the house, and I didn't feel like telling him leaning on the window of the car as we drove to the police station.
I asked him what happened with everything else, and he told me a whole story, but I didn't tell him about the voice I heard because I knew he would probably laugh at me.
A few hours later I was packing my stuff to leave to go home I said goodbye to everyone and then I got over to my motorcycle and yes, I know I know a motorcycle.
I then got on to it and then drove off down the street to my house and a few minutes later I got home, and I parked into the driveway and then I got off and turned it off before heading into my house.
I didn't have a girlfriend or a pet, so I was always alone and as I walked into the house throwing my bag on the ground and headed into the kitchen to grab some food and drinks.
I grabbed some ice cream and beer from the fridge and then I sat down on the couch popping the ice cream cubby open and I turned the TV on started eating it watching the TV.
' Can I have some?' The voice I heard before asked.
I jumped and then looked around I didn't see anything or anyone I was starting to freak out but after a few minutes, I put the ice cream away so it wouldn't melt and then I yawned, and I fell asleep on the couch snoring a bit too I could feel drool coming out of my mouth.
Just then I heard a loud ringing and I jumped up and rubbed my eyes I saw it was light outside and then I saw my phone sitting next to me where did it come from It was in my bag last night.
I grabbed the phone and saw it was Mr. Smith I gasped and pushed the answer button and he asked where the heck I was.
I told him I fell asleep and then Mr. Smith told me to come over to the station because I was going to be late, and he was going to tell the boss not to pay me for being late to work and I groaned under my breath where he couldn't hear me.
I then got up and then got dressed and got ready as fast as I could before I ran out of the house and then I hurried to the station and then I ran into the building and ran into Mr. Smith.
' Where in the blazes were you, Riley,' he said shouting at me sounding angry at me and I was scared he was going to hit me or slap me on the face.
' Sorry sir I got home tired I then fell asleep on the couch, and I didn't hear the phone ringing but what's the problem,' I asked him
' Remember that house we went to last night well we need to go back there something else happened this time stuff was stolen so let's hit this freak show again get to the car,' Mr. Smith said.
We both got into the car and then we drove away from the station and into the neighborhood where the house was, and I was looking out of the window thinking about the voices I heard at the house and last night when I was eating my ice cream.
When we got there the couple was waiting for us and said we could look around when we walked into the house, I gasped there was stuff all over the floor and one of their windows was broken like something had been tossed through it.
' Ok kid here's are plan I'm going to look downstairs, and you'll check upstairs again as last time got it,' Mr. Smith said as he pulled out his gun.
I gave him a thumbs up and then we headed to our spots, and I headed upstairs, and I sighed softly I had to go through all those rooms again and it was going to suck.
I looked around the rooms one was the couple's bedroom most of the jewelry was gone and I noticed a few books from the shelf in their room were gone this was getting weird.
I then started walking down the hallway checking all the other rooms and then I saw that the door to the room that was shut was open and I looked at the stairs hearing Mr. Smith talking to the couple downstairs.
I looked at the room something was pulling me into the room, and I walked into it noticing it was a kid's room there were pink sheets on the bed and a dollhouse in the corner and a bunch of other things that little kids or little girls loved.
I then stopped I saw a little white dress laying on the ground and it looked brunt and there was black Ash all over it and I picked it up looking at it confused.
' Hey, what the heck are you doing in here young man!' A voice behind me snapped making me jump.
I turned around and saw the old man standing there with his arms crossed and then he saw the dress I was holding, and I dropped it smiling then he grabbed my arm and dragged me out of the room growling under his breath.
We heard talking as the man dragged me down the stairs and then we walked into the living room where Mr. Smith was talking to the lady and the man cleared his throat and the two stopped and turned around looking at us.
He was squeezing my arm very tight, and Mr. Smith asked if the man was ok, and the man told Mr. Smith about it and Mr. Smith glared at me with an angry look on his face.
Mr. Smith said he was sorry and then told the couple that he would send a team to check out the house for more clues they said thank you and then Mr. Smith grabbed my arm and dragged me out of the house and threw me into the car and we drove off.
' What the hell did you do Riley?!' He asked in a very angry voice.
Great his going to kill me I thought as I crossed my arms in anger.
I didn’t say anything for the whole ride back to the station when we got there Mr. smith grabbed me by the arm and then took me over to my desk telling me to sit down and to stay there until he talked with the boss.
I just sat there thinking about all the kid stuff I saw in that room then I had an idea I pulled out my phone and started looking up the house and then I found a whole history page about it and started reading halfway through my mouth fell open in shock and I stopped reading it.
“Two years ago, a horrible fire broke out in the Gregory household the two parents managed to get out of the house but their young child a seven-year-old girl didn’t make it and she died in the house when the firemen came to put the fire out, they didn’t find the body of the girl just the white dress she had been wearing the night when the fire took place the cause of the fire was never found out” I read to myself.
Then I got called into the bosses' office you might have been thinking Mr. smith was the boss but no he isn't his like to baby boss and Mr. rivers is the real boss so in I went, and he looked at the chair telling me to sit down with my eyes and then I shut the door before sitting down in the chair.
“Ah, Mr. lee how are you doing this week?” Mr. rivers asked smiling at me with his big blue eyes.
“Um – ok,' I said nervously here comes the shouting and the screaming.
“Then what the hell were you thinking going into someone’s room like that in their house did Mr. smith ask you to look in that room did the couple ask you to look in that room no they didn’t, but you just waltzed in there like you owned the place!” Mr. River’s snapped banging his fist on the desk.
“But sir the door was just opened I thought no one would notice besides I found out some great -” I was cut off because Mr. rivers held up his hand for me to stop.
“Look Riley I don’t care what you did but you broke our code of rules here as a police officer I have it in my right mind to fire you but I'm not going to do that I'm going to be civil and give you a warning and say if you do something like this again, I am going to fire you understand?” Mr. rivers asked looking at me with a hard cold look.
“But sir – I understand,” I said sadly.
I then stood up and walked out of the main office and headed over to my desk where I started putting my stuff into my bag ready to go home and do what I always did eat food and fall asleep on the couch I didn’t even say goodbye to Mr. smith I just headed off and back to my house.
When I got to my house, I turned the lights on and shut the door throwing my bag on the ground and locking the doors before sitting on the couch maybe I wasn’t cut out to be a cop and then an idea popped into my brain
I was going to quiet to the police force.
I was going to call Mr. rivers tomorrow and tell him I wanted to quit the police force maybe find a nice quiet job I was thinking about the way I wanted to say it in my head and then I ended up grabbing a notepad writing a few chats down but none of them seemed to work.
Days turned into weeks and then I watched as my job changed, we didn’t do that much exciting stuff just gave people tickets and other small things I looked at Mr. smith wanting to ask him what he talked to the lady about but decided not to because was still angry at me.
After the horrible day, I decided to go for a walk around my street and then I walked around for a few minutes until I stopped at the corner and then an idea popped into my head, and I felt a smile spread over my face.
I decided I was going to check on the house where the couple lived so I ran off and a few minutes later got to the house.
I noticed their car I saw the lady time I came over wasn't in the driveway so they must be gone so I headed to the Front door.
When I got onto the porch, I grabbed the door at first, I thought it would be locked but when I grabbed the knob and twisted it the door unlocked and opened with a loud squeak.
I looked inside and noticed that the lights were on, so I walked into the room and my eyes went wide in shock.
Everything was gone all the furniture was gone even the pictures on the walls and carpets were gone.
Just then I turned around and saw that the door was closed and there was a note stuck to the door.
Dear young one
We are sorry if you're reading this note it means we're gone, and the house is empty and has claimed you as its next victim.
PS: we never meant to kill our baby girl.
I gasped quietly then balled the note up and threw it over my shoulder I reached out and grabbed the doorknob and opened the door, but it didn't work it didn't open.
' What the hell?' I mumbled confused about what was going on.
Just then I heard that laughing I heard last time I was here I jumped around looking around and my eyes landed on the stairs.
It was coming from up there that's where that little girl's room was, so I had no choice up I went.
I looked in all the other rooms everyone was empty except for the wallpaper and the house's floor.
I came back out into the hallway and heard the giggles again they were coming from the door I looked at the last time I was here.
I walked up to it and looked at the door which was now closed and had a cute little sign on it.
Welcome to Grace's room it said in bold white letters.
I grabbed the door knock expecting it to be locked but it wasn't opened, and I saw a room standing before me.
I walked into the room and looked around it wasn't all burnt up like the last time it looked like a little girl's room.
'What's going on am I going crazy?' I asked myself looking around the room confused.
Just then there was a loud bang from behind me I turned around and saw the door was shut I ran over to it trying to open the door, but it wouldn’t open it was locked it not opening and I banged on the door asking for help, but I knew no one could hear me.
Then I heard laughing coming from behind me I turned around and saw a little girl who looked to be about nine she had long blonde hair that went past her shoulders and she was wearing that white dress that I found on the floor of the room.
“Grace?” I mumbled under my breath.
“Yay a new friend to play with!” Grace said excitedly clapping her hands together.
Grace looked different instead of her dress being covered in dust and ash it was brand new looking.
And her hair was shiny like it hadn't been touched in two years by dirt then she looked at me.
' Will you play with me, mister?' She asked me grinning at me Sweetly.
I suddenly felt sick, and I grabbed the sides of my head and put my hands over my ears I could hear her voice going in and out of my brain and I fell to my knees on the ground
' Will you play with me?' She asked in a deeper tone.
I kept struggling I didn't want to play with her I had to get out of this house I couldn't let her take my freedom from me.
But then I stopped, and I felt my hands fall to my sides I felt like a zombie, and I probably looked like one, but I didn't care about anything except grace.
' Will you play with me now Riley?' Grace asked poking me in the nose.
' Yes, I will play with you grace,' I said in a zombified sounding voice.
Grace clapped her hands together giggling evilly then she held out her hand for me to take.
I didn't think about anything else I took the hand and stood up and I noticed that her eyes were completely white.
But I didn't care about anything, not my family or my job or anything I cared about that only thing I cared about was playing with Grace.
' You'll be my best friend forever Riley?' She asked looking up at me with her completely white eyes.
' Yes, grace I will I promise I'll never leave you alone or leave the house alone,' I said in my zombified voice.
Then grace giggles again and then she told me what she wanted to do, and I felt an evil grin spread over my face it was time for my revenge on this sick excuse of a town with my new friend.
The End

To begin, I raise a toast to the mods u/letsburn00, u/The_lordofruin, u/phantom_hax0r, u/username-taken82, u/mcfucking. Thanks for all you do for the sub. I raise a toast to my fellow retards; to the memes and the shitposts, to the gains and loss porn, to the bulls but not the bears, to our speccy-mining millionaires and the BNPL believers, to wildlife adoption drives and our resident sea creatures, to short reports and to awareness campaigns, to the holes and their liars, to the infinite money schemes and the nearology scam dreams, to Tom’s T+2’s and our bruised kneecaps, to the cults and weekend wine reviews, and finally to those cunts that claim to be built different but yet seem to be cut from the same fucking cloth. Thanks for all making 2021 a brilliant year despite all that is going on in the world. Please all have a safe Christmas and/or holiday period.
Many thanks to my previous ban-bet superstar u/Mutated_Cunt. He left a cryptic clue about myself as the next guest poster. Now onto why we are here and what better way to do it then publicly humiliate all of our Z1Ptard degens first. Lets kick it off with the downright delusional.
Our posters seem to have an unhealthy obsession with Z1P. u/StrethAU kicked off the new financial year in style claiming that Z1P will reach $28 before Dec 31st or a 2 month ban. You have 3 trading days for Z1P to go up 525% or we will be seeing you in March. u/SunkDestroyerchimed in offering to buy Streth a bottle of their choosing should Z1P reach $28 however I like your odds of not having to buy a bottle of horse cum or some other bodily fluid.
Degenerate Z1P copium holder number 2 u/Therealdudka joined in on Streth’s wild claim with Z1P to $20 by December 31st or 6 months in the slammer. Again, you have 3 trading days for Z1P to become the next Afterpay or we will be seeing you in the new financial year.
Starskiee’s infamous Z1P $100 by Christmas thread prompted a number of degens out from their dens. u/Apotheosistook the least retarded Z1P gamble of over $6.50 Chrissy or month ban and despite their public opinion of low confidence in this bet, for your dumb-assery you shall be banned for a month.
At the other side of the trade, u/Sufficient_Guess said if fucking Z1P touches $7 between now and Chrissy they take a 6 month ban. Congratulations Sufficient_Guess, you escaped the Z1P massacre and get to live another day.
Reaching peak degeneracy of the Starskiee thread was u/-V8- who said they would shove both their balls up their ass if DW8 was above $1 by Christmas. Safe to say your balls shall remain unlubed and dangling.
Enter u/Dont_forget-to_floss who rose to fame as the host of a short lived ASX_Bets variation of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire with an EXR A/B/C/D ban format. Floss locked in option B for an EXR announcement on 2nd December and u/A_Anderson151took option C for the 3rd December. Both of you could have phoned a friend or taken the 50/50 option and you still would’ve been wrong so you’re both getting banned for two weeks. u/CaoticMoments went against the grain and took option D for none of the above – congratulations you have become our first autistionnaire.
Group bans continue with u/Mutated_Cunt taking on the mushroom munchers of IHL betting that IHL would close red on the 5th day after the NASDAQ listing. As many of our ASX_Bets residents would be aware, the IHL NASDAQ listing was pushed back to January, so you are safe for now. But know that you’re all on the list ✍️✍️✍️. Mutated has opted for the ‘1-week per degen on the other side of the trade’ special on a loss versus every IHL degen getting a 2 week holiday. u/Mr_X2017 has opted to take the side of Mutated and offered to split the ban period; u/Mrs_Oh_No similarly took up arms with our beloved Cunt against the mushlords. On the other side of the ban we have u/Loud_Eye_1137u/Logicorlucku/flatman_88u/itmexD and u/thub1990 . In very atypical fashion, u/Brilliantmove7 has opted to comment on something that doesn’t involve GRR and jumped in against MC. So, by my count we have Mutated up against a 6 week ban, but this will be continued into the January/February ban post so stay tuned.
Another cult fan favourite, u/ewanelaborate bet that Dr Tendies would have a catastrophic meltdown of a tantrum within the next 10 days and stop posting on hotcopper. Unfortunately to the disgust of many of the non-RACists, Dr Tendies is still posting as of writing this so u/ewanelaborate is going into the naughty corner for a week. Ewan has also very generously offered to donate $100 to a cancer charity.
Yeeting our way into the $x by Christmas specials. First up, u/campingpolice took up 50k units of PRL in September and claimed 25c by Christmas or 1 month ban. Unfortunately for campingpolice, the Next Investors scam dream didn’t live up to the hype as the email powers fizzled out so you can spend a month in jail.
u/mrmullah made a “gold tip post” about the prospects of RDT being $1 before Christmas. It sounded like guaranteed rockets for all, free money as some might say. But alas, it peaked at 0.94c so MrMullah has been banished to the shadow realm.
The u/HeavyhandedWarlord followed the trend with NOX to hit $1.50 by Christmas because “tRusT me bRo” or a one month expedition to the ban realm. Not only are you banned for a month but you’re also $2.5k poorer. Cya later.
u/Sh0stakovich says CHM will be 0.614 by Christmas or one month ban off the back of “encouraging CLTX phase 1 trial results due Mid Nov”. Through my careful examination, CHM is still trading in the same range it was for the last 12 months so Sh0stakovich can await his 61c prediction over in ASXBanned.
u/Sen900 was ecstatic to announce PEN to 50c by Christmas, however suffered some serious post-nut clarity the following day. You’ll have one month in the bin to review your future decisions.
u/Big-dog429r was all aboard the cum rocket MEM and called 0.12c on the 19th November or a 1 month ban. MEM hit 0.12c 3 days later and so the BigDog lives another day.
With a spontaneous bet that even had the mod team grasping at nothing, u/Springoniondip said that NVA will be $1 by Dec 10th or a 2 week ban. Why?. u/Rhythm34 also tried to con u/JW1T with a 40 week ban as JW1T didn’t know the consolidation was coming however we play nice here. Springoniondip will serve his 2 week Christmas holiday.
u/Bousta95 said DW8 will be over 7c by New Years or they will blend cooked steak and red wine together, drink the cocktail and will sit on the sidelines for 3 months. Bousta will be joining u/ilyfish in his weekly wine review followed by a 3 month sentence.
u/apprenticepc was willing to take a week ban if BRK closed red on the 29th November, which to no one’s surprise, it did. Apprentice will be taking a little holiday over New Years.
u/WadoBJJ87 was feeling a little frisky and thought that SYA was going to the moon (25c) by the end of November however it did not, and so WadoBJJ is sitting on the sidelines for a fortnight. For god know’s what reason, u/CamelTrowetook the other side of the trade and said that if SYA closed above 25c that they would wax their asshole and show us. Just because your partner doesn’t want to see your asshole, doesn’t mean that we do.
Living true to their name u/Destined2bepoor bet that STX would touch 60c by December 23rd or a week’s ban. Destined2bepoor tried to be sneaky and delete his comment however u/mcfucking the all-seeing-eye caught him in 4k so looks like its ramen for Christmas lunch and a little getaway.
u/Blisser_the_sniff and u/BuiltDifferant went head to head on IMU with Blisser stating IMU will hit 625c in December versus Built taking IMU to not touch 625c in December. IMU has been on the downtrend all December and so Blisser is going to be taking the month off, with Built’s username ringing true.
Moving onto a sub favourite, EXR. u/Overlandtruckdrunk offered his cum tribute to the gods with an EXR announcement to happen the following day on the 3rd December or a week’s ban. The Mongolian gods did not hear his calls and so he will spend a week lost in the tundra.
u/AureusStone took on newly minted cult member Bigrigcrash stating that IVZ had fuck all chance to close above .17c on the 3rd December or a one month timeout. Aureus was right and he survives another day to sling shit at our resident cult members. u/BigRigcrash felt game for taking the other side of the trade but didn’t meet the sub’s Rule 11, however due to the quick upvoting action of some of our members he soon quickly qualified and took the bet on head first. Bigrig crashed and burned and will be taking a month off to think about his next play.
u/EmJay2013 was feeling lively with the NVX energy amongst the sub, and amongst their excitement deleted their comment, but you won’t catch the mods sleeping here. They went for a spicy intraday ban bet that NVX would finish in the green or one week ban, the day it dropped from $12 to $8.50. EmJay even spiced up the ban with wanting a date with mcfucking’s wife if they were right. Thankfully for mcfucking, EmJay will be spending the week alone.
The same day, u/Brewbenbrook took a gaze into his crystal ball and said that NVX would hit $9.40 by Friday the 10th or a month off. Benny boy was right with NVX sinking to the high $7s.
u/the_wombat2081 started off with a ban bet on PRM’s use of the word hydrogen in an upcoming announcement however after getting called out by Floss, Wombat upped their gamble to PRM finishing in the green on the day of an announcement. PRM announced an acquisition of an interest in a multi-TCF project and opened strong at 0.011c, however they closed the day at 0.009c, so Wombat is spending a week down in the den.
u/A380-king gathered enough karma to begin their first bet of VML 7c by Chrissy or one month ban. Turns out the first one isn’t always free. One month.
Continuing in VML fashion, u/oneofthemanysams said VML to close above 5.3c on the 6th Dec or a weeks ban. Sam was oh so close, with VML touching 5.3 and closing at 5.1c, so Sam’s off to visit our good friend Plucky.
u/Mobile-Rice-8889 opted for VML to announce another offtake agreement or a one month ban. Our benevolent overlords have taken kindness as VML announced a 50% increase in previous offtakes. Congratulations.
Another New Year duo taking to the stage with u/Markma1989 vs u/A_Anderson151 over IXR. IXR shall close above 4.5c on Dec 31st or Anderson sleeps with the fishes. Markma is taking the underside of the trade. Looking forward to how this plays out over the coming days as its neck and neck.
u/raegrog took on EXR to release an announcement and finish green the week beginning the 6th of December or banned until Australia Day. Sadly, it was not to be so you’re taking an exceptionally long weekend off.
u/Teeedub proclaimed they had no more money to lose on the ASX and so had turned to gambling their permissions away here in ASX_bets with a 2 week vacation. Well now you’ve got no money and you’re not allowed here anymore, so off you trot: https://mcdonalds.com.au/learn/careers#/
u/redditanomalyy bet that ABB would touch $4 before end of the year or a month off. ABB has done quite well since peaking at $5.66 and u/redditanomalyy lives up to their name.
Last but not least, I am sending myself to the shadow realm for the bet that FFX’s Goulimana DFS was not being priced in but alas I hadn’t factored in the board dicking me down with a CR. I’m the second guest poster to send myself. See all you scumbags in ASXBanned.
The Christmas period is all about tradition and it would be rude to not respect our customs here at ASX_Bets. Buy recommendation posts attract the age old ‘Proof or Ban’ for the highest upvoted comment.
u/wantedbyirsasked for YOLO recommendations and u/Debtandregret1984 happily obliged by enlightening him about DLC amongst a sea of lithium fan favourite recommendations. Time is up for you to front some proof so our overlords are coming for your kneecaps.
u/jasonthegreat88 followed the same vein and asked about what dips people were buying with Omicron on the rampage. Surprisingly, DLC was not the most upvoted comment and it seems Jason is gonna be buying the 2 for $6 Black Swan onion dip special at Coles.
u/BigJimBeef warned you all of when you would be stuck with family so anyone with ban bets by end of the year, you have 2 full trading days and 1 shortened trading day left. For those will slightly longer time frames, fortunately for you lot, you still have some time before your untimely demise is upon you.
With an interesting take on 2-bets 1-poster, u/instantly-regret has taken on double trouble for IHL to close above 0.55c on the first day of NASCHAD trading AND for LPD to finish above 0.05c on off-take announcement. They’ve opted for a weeks ban for each respective ticker. The name here checks out folks as Instantly-Regret will be spending a week in the slammer for LPD and their fate awaits for IHL’s listing.
u/sugar-raytheon is on board the IBG rocket that everyone claims is free money with a bet that IBG will touch 0.15c by the end of February or a months ban. The first launch was spectacular but it appears to be losing steam. Tune in to find out if Sugar-raytheon is onboard the Space Shuttle Challenger.
u/rsoule878 declared DXN or Hyperone to announce a partnership of sorts by Australia day or a 2 week ban. Will DXN be in rsoule878‘s hottest stocks?
u/Megadrive65 is taking on Twiggy with FMG to touch $6.50 by Jan 30th or a month ban and a forced sitting in with the poker degens. u/Megadrive65 is going to need to have an ace up their sleeve for this bet to be the goods.
The mushroom IPO debate continues with u/Exalted_HC taking on u/_Smoulder_ over the opening IPO price versus the closing price one month later. We will follow this into the new year when IHL lists.
Turning to weird pigeon fetishes, u/Sinisterbiscuts says ROG to 20c by end of Jan “or I’ll shoot a hedge rat (see: pigeon) and eat it’s delicious breasts”. There is also a 3 month ban attached to your messenger pigeon.
Starting off with our permabull chads u/Sunkdestroyer and u/Builtdifferantly who were willing to take on 5 and 10 year bans respectively if the S&P500 hit a circuit breaker before New Years. God speed gentlemen you have 3 trading days left.
In our first hard hitting duo, u/hellotbar1010 is coming in swinging with VML to 10c by end of year or a YEAR ban and his opponent u/Shawzus taking the flip side. Tbar, see you in 2023 mate where hopefully your VML is worth more than 400k.
Our resident fuckhead u/BrilliantMove7 took up the VML 10c challenge as well or permaban. As to the disappointment of many, BrilliantMove lives on to remind you about investing in GRR and GLN.
In another saga of David vs Dickhead, u/Moweth is taking on u/weedwhizard with VML to close at or above 6c on the last trading day of 2021 or a year’s ban. Moweth is taking a years holiday if VML closes at or above 6c versus Weedwhizard with the contrary. Geoff is gonna need to pull a rabbit out of his hat in the next 3 days for this one.
u/ninenet909 came out swinging hard with EXR to touch $1 by December 30th “or else I drink a shot of my own piss”. That was too generic for u/Username-taken82 so u/ninenet909 upped the stakes to shaving a line down the middle of his head. EXR was so so close to the $1 falling just short at 0.51c so get the clippers out cunt. Minimum time period is 72 hours however suggestions are welcome.
u/Debtandregret made a bet that he would be able to buy a GTR off the profits from ASX:GTR by end of year. With how GTR has performed since this post I would wager the bank wouldn’t even loan you the money to buy a HotWheels GTR. However, DebtandRegret admitted defeat early but in return donated $100 to our furry friends at the Animal Welfare league. Very commendable, however ban. See you in February.
One of our resident bears comes into the ring, u/ToiIets has wagered that the ASX will be under 6000 come Christmas due to ‘Chinese policy changes’. They did not specify a ban length and a perma would likely put the species on brink of extinction so I'll let the mods decide the fate of another victim to the Evergrande bear propaganda campaign. Maybe Plucky can organize some special therapy time for ToiIets over in ASXBanned.
u/Ragnarlydude won week 3 of ASXBet’s Special Needs T+2 Poker Tournament and in doing so, has also won himself a week’s holiday. Congratulations Ragnar.
u/poptartape wanted to celebrate 1000 karma by throwing themselves into the gauntlet that IVZ would be above 30c on Dec 30th. They offered compensation to the stock market gods with a poll of either: drinking a blended chicken breast milkshake, quitting their 10year job over text or a $500 donation to Beyond Blue. The peasants chose an honourable donation.
Following the trend of generous donations, u/Becify has offered up a $500 sacrifice to the market gods if WOA does not hit $2 by end of the year. In typical ASX_Bets T+2 fashion, Becify is going to have to sell their holding in WOA to pay their debts.
u/geoscifi also threw down for the cause with a $500 donation to any charity of u/notasabretooth ‘s choosing if RBL touches $6 by end of year or a years bans. Whilst a commendable gesture, RBL is far from its $6 target.
u/Sulmar high on his own supply offered up a $5000 donation if IHL touches $1 from May-December. Like many others, Sulmar had high hopes for the NASDAQ listing which has since been pushed back. The mods approved of this wonderful gesture nonetheless.
In another tale of biotech scamdreams u/MysteriousPunter took out an 8 month bet that KZA would touch $3.50 by years end or 3 months ban. To the surprise of nobody, ASX_Bet’s ability to pick biotech winners remains as strong as ever. 3 months.
Whilst I love the courage of our resident bears to fight the feds, I also show them no pity. u/Coloneloscoppy went to war armed with BBUS and a $12.575 price target; yet they doubled down in August when they knew they were still fuk hoping for any resemblance of a market crash. Coloneloscoppy’s time ran out at the end of November, and for the heinous act of treason committed against our Lord and Savior Jerome Powell, I banish you to the BangBus for two years. No lube. No parole.
u/Banana_CS joined the radioactive tendie train with a bet of TOE to touch 10c by Christmas or a year ban. Unfortunately for Banana, you’re going to have to keep buying those feet pics from your financial dominatrix queen on Onlyfans because that’s all the toe action you’re getting. Ban sentence: one year.
To my disappointment u/loaf-of-breddit offered to upload a Happy Gilmore style video admitting defeat if LKE hits $6 before Christmas and a perma. But it was not to be.
Finally, it would be rude not to leave the best til last; to savor the taste one might say. u/Jazzladd bet that BGT will 10 bag from the 31st March til end of the year or they’ll drink their own cum. Let the record stand that at the date of posting, BGT is $0.135 and whilst the Jizzladd did get a second bag at the $0.26 high in November it was far from their 10-bag aspirations. Bottoms up you animal and don’t forget to give us your version of u/ilyfish ‘s 5 star wine rating.
u/x2kCheese kicks us off with the AVA to hit $1 by Christmas or an ASX_Bets style tattoo. X2kCheese has said we will have proof by Jan 8th. u/Builtdifferantly believed it would be yet another account to delete itself, offering his soul up for one month, x2kCheese called his cowardice out wanting 3 months instead, but Built didn’t want a bar of it.
Our resident nude model u/ChainImaginary joined the ranks of Barnaby Joyce hoping for rockets when they said that EOS would touch $10 by the end of 2021 or a VDHG tattoo is coming on their left butt cheek.
Last but certainly not least, u/shitforbrainstoo claimed in February that PSC would hit $1 by Christmas and they cop a tattoo of our mascot Koala. With incredible foresight, shitsforbrains fell just short with PSC peaking at $0.97 however they did not consider the downside of their bet; to drink a concoction of their pubes, cum and shit. The mods have received confirmation; the deed is done.
There is no TLDR, learn to read and it’s probably good time for 90% of you lot to inverse yourselves. Happy holidays. Stay well, stay safe. See you in the casino next year.

I've known for a while that my boss is extremely petty, immature and unprofessional. She is an older woman, turning 59 years old this month, and not work motivated at all. I've been working here since August 2019 and this was evident from the very beginning but I've been tolerating it because the pay is alright, this is better than my previous job and I'm allowed a few liberties.
The workplace is extremely unprofessional - this is a family business, we have a shop location and a warehouse (where I work) and it's only me, my boss and her son working at the warehouse. My boss never used to come in on time and would leave me waiting for her outside the warehouse in any and all weather for at least half an hour every day as she refused to give me a key, claiming she doesn't 'trust' me when I'd given her no reason not to, for nearly two years until she finally gave in and gave me a key back in May this year. Since then, she would come in one to two hours late, leaving me with all the workload until she decided that it was finally time to come in - obviously once all the harder tasks had been completed by me. She's had some family issues since around October last year, I believe, at which time she was caring for her 80 year old mother with Alzheimer's as her 85 year old father outright verbally abused the mother and refused to help her. During this time, my boss would offer to give me a ride to work and back home, which is generous of her and I always appreciated it, but she used it to guilt trip me into doing more work or work even harder, and I did. I went from dealing with parcels only (picking and packing) to preparing the shipments on top, doing customer service (telephone and email), stock checks and website uploads, along with anything else she could come up with - I was practically acting as her personal assistant, reminding her of appointments, loading her car whenever needed and unloading the groceries she would bring to stock the fridge (of which I would only use the milk for my morning coffee - everything else was for her to take home later on in the day and would ask me to bag it and put it in her car).
In the last few months, her father has been diagnosed with cancer, her mother's Alzheimer's has gotten significantly worse and, while I understand, my boss has left me in charge of the warehouse. It seems to me as though she's been preparing me for this - every few months, giving me more and more responsibility so she wouldn't have to come in at all. I don't appreciate that, though I can say I appreciate the freedom of being alone here. All the while, she will call me and text me constantly, asking me what I'm doing or what I've done all day, telling me what to do and just micro-managing me from afar. Keep in mind that, while I didn't at first follow this rule fully, my boss has a strict no-phone policy, yet she expects me to be at her beck and call on my personal phone all day, every day. I started being more strict with this rule (and with myself) a few months back, so I'm not really on my phone anymore, unless I need to reach her - and even then, I'm much more likely to use the work phone to do so.
On top of my boss, I also have to deal with her rude, borderline bipolar son with more personality issues than a net has holes. He will come in at whatever time he pleases, tell me what to do (even though I know exactly what I have to do, after all I've had this job for over two years), and leave right after. He's a 28 year old proper momma's boy - couldn't even tie his shoes by himself and my boss has been stressed over him taking over the company as she is now semi-retired. They constantly argue, whether they're both here or not. I've been witness to many a fight that broke out - fights that end with him verbally abusing her, her crying in the bathroom or throwing things at his head, and him screaming and throwing a tantrum, punching walls, doors and breaking anything he can reach. No, this is not an exaggeration. I've seen many broken boxes, stationery items and holes in walls and doors from punching.
All-around not a great environment to be around
Back to the main point, my boss has always found a way to get back at me for little things I do wrong. One of those things is days that I take off of work. I won't lie, I don't have the greatest attendance - what with taking at least one day a month off and being late in the mornings. In regard to that one day off a month, I'd explained to my boss many times that it was because of menstrual cramps (mine were so bad that I couldn't move and would almost cause me to throw up every single month) but I recently went on the pill which has put a stop to my periods so I no longer do that. And the being late, while it was a lot of the time due to the buses (wouldn't be the first time I'd wait an hour or two for a single bus), especially during COVID, I wasn't the best at getting up in the morning either. I've made efforts to change this, now waking up at 5:30 or 6am to be at work on time at 10am. I've even been arriving early nearly every day by 10-20 minutes. Either way, she would always point these things out and make passive-aggressive comments about my short-comings, all the while ignoring all the work I was putting in whilst I was actually working.
Recently, my sister got engaged and I am going to the wedding (obviously), but the wedding is in our home country. I initially asked for one day off - a Friday - but I will need more days there to get a passport done, so I asked for Wednesday and Thursday off too. I asked her over the phone and she seemed fine with it, simply asked me to text her the days so she wouldn't forget. I did so. About three months ago, I asked her for three weeks off in March 2022 for trip abroad (I do have a right to do this, as I'm sure you're all aware, and she said that it was fine but just to tell her once it was set in stone which I did last week), which gave her plenty of time in advance to get her affairs in order and all. She had complained at first about how we'll be receiving deliveries that time (which I'm pretty sure is not true, deliveries arrive in April) and she would rather I didn't take time off. She conceded, of course, but she didn't seem happy when I confirmed the dates last week. In fact, she commented today that I needed to tidy up the entire warehouse and how it's my responsibility 'especially since I want time off.' That comment did not sit well with me.
In addition, there was an incident last month where I was 100% sure she didn't pay me all of my wages. I brought it up with her and she said she'd check - which took her TWO WEEKS to do and I had to constantly remind her to update me and I did so at least three times before she even got into contact with the person that deals with calculating my wages each month. Turns out she missed quite a bit of my salary and, instead of paying me, she is withholding the money until she pays me at the end of this month. I'm sure this can't be allowed, right?
There is so much more to my time here that doesn't sit well with me - things I can't be bothered to bring up or can't remember anymore - and yes, I am looking for something else. Right now, I'm essentially stuck here because I can't start a new job and be like, 'by the way, I have three weeks off in March' and my parents are forcing me to stay here too, saying my boss is good to me and that the money is worth it (it's not). I've tried so hard to be nice to them, even giving them Christmas presents last year, and working weekends whenever needed or wanted, among other things, but I still feel like I'm treated unjustly.
Not sure what the point of writing this all down is, but I guess I just wanted to get it out there. I'm incredibly stressed out here and constantly thinking my boss is working against me because she wants petty revenge for the little things. I don't even know what to do until I get a new job after I come back from my holiday.

TLDR: I think we pseudo agreed to be exclusive but the thing is, we didn’t explicitly say that we’re exclusive and we both agreed that we’re taking things slow and evaluating our relationship for another month or so. So should I take myself off the market even if I’m still single? Or is that a disservice to myself to do that. Or is it a disservice to him/us if I don’t since we both indicated we’re moving towards that?
Woman here. I have been going on dates with a man for about a month and a half now. Due to family holiday plans, we’re not seeing each other again until after NYE. He’s already made us dinner reservations and date plans. He’ll be picking me up and our plan is to spend the weekend at his (I’ve already spent a weekend there before—we’ve kissed but no sex nor anything without clothes).
I really like him!!! And I know he really likes me too. He calls me and texts me every day. I get super giddy talking to him and talking about him. Even now just thinking about him makes me smile :) gahhhhh.
We agreed to take things slow though for at least another month… but we’ve both joked on the phone about how we say that now (that we’re going to take things slow) but after the holiday break when we see each other, our relationship will probably escalate a lot quickly and we won’t end up taking things slow 😂 sigh alas, there’s my dilemma.
Technically, we’re not exclusive nor in an official relationship. On our last date, he brought up how the concept of multi dating is new to him and he understands I’ve been doing that (since I told him when I was VERY drunk) but he hasn’t been dating others since he’s met me (which I believe because he mentioned this before too) and he hasn’t felt this way about anyone else. He said he usually doesn’t get jealous but he now gets jealous at the thought of me going on dates with other men. I reminded him we agreed to take things slow and he nodded…
The next day, he calls me and says he thinks we should both delete our dating apps (and all/any dating apps we’re on; and delete our profiles, not just the apps—haha he was very specific which I liked because I’m like that too). I was so gleeful because I already deleted mine a few weeks prior (which I told him about during one of our nightly phone calls but he hadn’t said anything about deleting his or potential thoughts about deleting it during that call) but we had a REALLY bad night so he canceled our plans for that weekend and said he needed time to reflect. And during that time, I redownloaded and remade my profiles. Ok ok anyway, we both texted each other screenshot confirmations that we deleted our apps while still on the phone together. It was a nice moment.
A couple days later, one of my (gay) guy friends was coming over to my place to hang out. My date doesn’t know he’s gay though so when we were talking on the phone about what we’re gonna do later, I could tell he was a little bothered and it was really cute. I laughed and told him he doesn’t have to worry about anything because my friend’s super super gay (he is). And my date said he felt reassured because he didn’t know what to think since I told him before I may go to Miami (him-“who are you going with?” …. Me-“with a friend…”) and when I was drunk (during our aforementioned bad night), I told him the actual truth it was with another guy I’ve also been going on dates with. At that point, I had been on A LOT of dates with the other guy and already leaning towards not going. After the bad night, my date canceled our plans and asked for some time and space. During that time when we weren’t talking, I ended things with the other guy and backed out of Miami.
Oh god, I’m rambling sorry. Just trying to get all the details out there so you have a better understanding.
We saw each other a week after the bad night and had an incredible date!!! Things are so natural and easy with him. It was hard saying goodbye and we both thought for a second if we should be impulsive and I should quickly pack a bag and we spend the weekend together…but I reminded him we’re taking things slow….(and this is when we had the conversation about how he has been getting jealous at the thought of me dating other men; and the next day is when we both deleted our OLD profiles).
Anyway, I did really delete my apps. (I didn’t even bother saying goodbye to anyone on the apps even if we had plans for a first date. I asked him if I should say something but he said no it’s ok I don’t need to). BUT there are still 5 men who I’ve gone on a couple dates with who have still been texting/calling me, asking to see me again for another date. I have been pushing it off by not giving definitive answers….so they all told me the time/date/place they made dinner reservations for and that they hope they can/get to see me again 😬 Yeah….
I talked about this situation with a couple close friends and they all said that since I’m not exclusive, I have every right and should continue to go on dates with these other suitors until it’s established that we’re exclusive.
Honestly…I don’t know if I want to go on these dates…or I even should. I know I’ll have a good time. But I also know I’ll be thinking of him the entire time. That’s primarily why I ended things with the Miami guy—because I kept thinking of my main interest throughout the entire date.
Another thing is…during our conversation on our last date, I also mentioned to him that I am also a bit jealous at the thought of him courting other women, and I would get upset if I found he’s going on dates with other women even if he has every right to do so since we’re not exclusive and it’s still early in our relationship.
And when we deleted our apps, we both selected the reason as “found someone/in a relationship now.”
I am dating for marriage. It’s still too early to tell of course but gosh, I really like this guy. I really really really like him, in a way I haven’t felt since college when I met my long-term ex-boyfriend.
By not going on these dates with these other men next week, I am essentially taking myself off the dating market even though I’m still technically single… so am I doing myself a disservice? Each one of these other suitors have brought up that they are seeking and want to pursue a serious relationship with me that ends in marriage (and yes, they’ve brought this up themselves—I did not goad them into saying this—and who knows, maybe they don’t even mean it! Haha that’s the cynic in me)
What would you do if you were in my shoes?
EDIT: Made a few typo changes.
SECOND EDIT: I think I’m going to follow my heart and not go on these dates with these other men even if my friends are telling me it’s foolish to ‘put all my eggs in one basket’ and we’re not exclusive and things aren’t official yet. They haven’t met him and I have. And I know what he’s like and his feelings toward me. And my feelings about him. And if it ends up not working out, ok. But I think it will work out. I hope it does. I want to give it a real shot. And I know I don’t want him to go on dates with other women right now and so I feel like it’s respectful to him and to the other men and to myself by just focusing on him/us and I think that is the right thing to do. But I’d still like to hear your thoughts. Maybe I’m simply being too foolish and just so smitten that I can’t see beyond the rose-colored glasses! Whattya I know.
THIRD EDIT: Thank you to everyone who has been weighing in and sharing your thoughts & experiences. I appreciate you taking the time to respond even though I know my entire post is disorganized haha. I've firmly decided I am absolutely going to follow my heart now! I fully recognize that there's a chance this might not work out...but I'm willing to take that chance. And honestly...I really think it will work out. :). I like him a lot. Tomorrow during the day, I will text the other men and make it explicitly clear that our upcoming dates are cancelled because I'm moving forward with my main interest.
Here is the text I'm going to send to the other suitors: 'Hey hope your week is going well!!! I know life and work gets so crazy busy at this time of the year. I hope what I'm about to say doesn't add to the EOY frenzy. I wanted to let you know that it's been a lovely and positive experience getting to know you. You're wonderful. Absolutely, truly, unequivocally. However, there is someone else whom I like very much, and I want to give him my full attention and give that relationship a real go without sabotaging it by seeing other people. Moreover, I felt that I should let you know what's actually happening on my end rather than lead you on or just fade away. I am sorry, but I am cancelling our next date. I sincerely wish you the best of luck on your journey 🙂 All the best 🙂'
FOURTH AND LAST EDIT: I acknowledge my post is all over the place with the timing...and the content too I guess. I wrote my post on my phone and word vomited and didn't go back to edit the post and make timing/words flow. Yes, I know, and I'm SORRY. Please bear with me and know that I have severe ADHD and my medication wears off by nighttime (which is now). Next time, if I ever post again, I'll tweak it before posting. I also recognize that I may have hit a nerve with many users given the volatile action on the upvotes/downvotes on this post. Again, SORRY!!!! I know I may come across as obnoxious to the average Reddit user. It's not my intention. *Waves a white flag and sends a dove.* *Shrugs and goes back to my cave.* Thank you all again and have a great rest of your week before Christmas and NYE.

Almost 9 years down the drain. He took me out to a fancy anniversary dinner, and 4 days later he just said he didn’t want to be a dad or husband anymore. In 2 days he went from married to in the bar, with his ring off, single, & then moved out on day 3 and told me he would decide in a few months what he wanted and then just ghosted me. I am 45F, he is 42M. 1 child, 24M (stepson, in college, moved in with us due to covid, moving back to college Q1 2022). I check everything. I asked if there was an AP. Cause it didn’t make any sense. He said no. He just quit. He had a list of our (mine and my son’s) “failures”. The things he said, especially about dear son (DS) who is disabled, were so egregious. It felt so gaslighting. He told me I made him a worse person cause I didn’t do what he told me to do, when he told me to do it. My appearance, my job, my accomplishments (career, promotion at work, 3.8 GPA (second degree), our hobbies (we did everything he liked, he didn’t like anything I liked), down to the length of my nails, everything was wrong. I will not repeat what he said about DS. Our whole life. He took no responsibility at all. We both work, make great money, we owned our own home, he never paid for DS ever in 9 yrs, or for any of my bills ever. I wanted to keep our finances separate so he never felt like I was taking advantage (he makes more). Yet everything was all our fault. DS & him had an amazing relationship (or so we thought). DS is devastated. Husband told me he had been pretending for years. His parents and I had a great relationship and they ghosted me and DS. My dad and him had a “bromance”. My dad told me how devastated he is (husband ghosted him also). Everyone is shocked (our friends & my family). I am low contact with my JN sister-in-laws (they are the worst) and I have no time for their drama. They hate we don’t side with them against his parents. The oldest & husband don’t speak (husband chose to be NC). The middle JNSIL (who he is close with, first year of our marriage she told him he should lie to me when there was issue in their family and he did but I thought we had worked through that years ago) is always involved in our marriage & when he told her what he was thinking she told him either send DS away or leave us (his told me this). I begged husband to go to MC, he said “No, if I can’t even be honest with you why would I be honest with a therapist. It would be a waste of time”. I begged him to talk to his BFF, after talking to JNSIL, he did and came home and said he was confused and needed to sleep on it. JNSIL called next day and he changed his mind.
I once read a book where the author wrote about the characters soul bleeding. I understand that passage. This is my second marriage and I tried to do everything right. All the mistakes I made in my late teens/early 20’s I worked so hard not to make in my late 30’s. I have an amazing co-parenting relationship with DS dad (ex) & his wife. I waited 12 years to get remarried. I was up front from dating that I was a package deal. I would never choose him over DS. I explained DS’s dad, stepmom and I were doing everything we could to help him be independent but there could be a possibility that he may need to live with us or them. DS is doing amazing. Yes he had medical issues but that is related to his disability. Yet we do everything we can to help him be successful and overcome.
I just play it over and over in my head. D/day was November 9th. I couldn’t just sit around waiting for him to decide I was “enough” (I waited a month, like a doormat, hoping he would change his mind). He was so mad when I filed cause I didn’t text/call and tell him first. He came by the house to talk about it. He explained how happy he was and how he knew he made the right decision. I feel so broken. I meant every vow I made. I did everything I could to support him, honor him, be who he needed me to be. I feel like such a fool. I am trying to be the gray rock. I don’t call, text or email but I so desperately want to. I miss him, with every fiber of my being, every day. I feel like my soul dies a little more every day we are apart. I feel so dramatic. Like I am losing my mind. I gave him everything I had. I was so independent (single mom) for so long, and I chose him and brought him into our lives. I gave it my all, and I failed spectacularly and I don’t understand how, or why. Why wasn’t I enough, what could I have done differently. Is this karma? I cried every day since. I cry all the time. I am not a big crier and I can’t stop. My therapist says I am going through the cycles of grief and I hate it. I want to be like him. I want to be able to act like he has no value. It’s not true. I lost 22 lbs, I don’t sleep, I don’t eat, I just walk through the fog and pretend for DS sake, but DS knows. I am spending the holidays with my family. I just don’t understand. I dream about him. I wish he would just show up at my parents house and beg for forgiveness, cause I would probably do it, forgive him, even though I know it would be a mistake. I would be on eggshells waiting for the next time I “failed”. I feel all over the place. The holiday’s are the worst. I can’t believe I am going to be alone. I can’t fathom the thought of dating. I know I will never allow someone this close to me ever again. I well never get married again. I will never love someone again with all of me.

In my first months coming down, I became cool with this dude Randy who moved into my cube. Prison was so new and foreign then, equal parts dull, dangerous, and unsettling.
What made it so much worse was a visit from some detectives about a friend who had passed away from an overdose. They brought printouts of an incriminating text exchange between him and a phone number identified as mine. The hazy memory flooded back, though at that time I never made the connection. I was left with the impression that charges were uncertain. So I kept it a secret from my girlfriend and family at the time, hoping nothing’d transpire.
From then on, sleep was uneasy and restive. My hair grayed and receded. Stress left me incapable of really interacting, and making anything like friends. I needed to get out my head. I needed a distraction.
Enter Randy. He was super-jacked, a mma fighter, and had been cooking meth since he was 12, or claimed to. Although approaching 40, his personality was juvenile, and immature, partly because he wasn’t very intelligent, and clearly ADD.
He was also a huge mooch, but so good-natured I helped him out when I could, knowing I’d never see it return.
The meth underworld was more foreign to me than prison was, but I was learning a lot from every other white guy who was in prison for something meth-related. Randy seemed to embody so much that was bad about meth.
“Meth Cook” wasnt just the crime he was convicted of, or his street hustle, but his avowed vocation. He talked about making meth as if it were an art form, and he Michaelangelo. in what was a common boast from every meth cook I’ve come to meet in prison, Randy bragged “my shake-and-bake is the best” and the standard jail bullshit about “fucking bad bitches” for hours, high on ice.
However, any initial skepticism was dismissed in the few months I got to know Randy.
His face was pockmarked by acne (meth does that), and his mouth contorted by bruxism, a permanent condition from years of abuse.
His teeth were ground down to little nubs. At least he had teeth. Inmates as a group have horrible oral hygiene, rivaling the homeless. (prison rule #11: never trust a man with no teeth.)
To get on the phone, a prisoner must repeat, “With global tel-link my voice is password” for the voice recognition system to let you dial. Randy’s was, “With global tel-link my meth is my password.”
Randy often took his shirt off in the cube, which was weirdly, not weird to anyone. at first i thought it was to show off his muscular physique. A lot of prisoners are ripped, but he was bodybuilder-esque. I suspected he had meth muscles, a line of ice being his pre-workout formula for years in the world.
(While that partly explained this odd habit, after he rode out, my then cubie Wojo and I concluded that in retrospect, Randy felt most at home shirtless because meth cooks stripped down to work for safety reasons.)
From our conversations, it was clear Randy came from a world where everyone did meth. When I described how taboo that drug was in my college-educated, urban milieu, it escaped his ability to comprehend.
I sympathized, cuz where I’m from, cocaine was socially-acceptable; everyone indulged here and there. Public use or fiending for it were still looked down on, but doing a line of blow didn’t carry the social stigma like heroin. I was always quietly amused when someone would freak out by people doing cocaine in a room at a party.
The highlight of my day was always my phonecall with Kasey, unless I got a letter from her–that was the best. We were coming up on a year since my arrest, and managed to hang on. Our relationship, already frayed, was starting to break from the strains.
When I was finally arraigned on my new charge, there was no more hiding it. In my head, I had planned on breaking up with her–if she didnt beat me to it–after the arraignment. It’d be unfair to her; plus I knee she needed some intimacy.
And yet, I faltered when it came time. When she found out about this new charge, she vowed to be by my side the whole time, and declared I was gonna beat the case and that I was gonna come home to her in November. I believed her too, or desperately wanted to. Regardless, I felt so warm and fuzzy after we spoke. Our phone conversations were the escape I craved.
Still in its early stages, I convinced myself the delivery-causing-death case dismissed. I hoped and prayed to go home on my original release date at the end of the year. Randy’s release was set a fee months after mine.
It’s common for prisoners to bullshit and make plans for the world when approaching your release date. Randy was sincere about hanging out in the world, and entertained the possibility of coming to party with me and my gf, and one of her friends. He couldnt get over that they wouldnt be down to do meth, or that I didn’t know any girls who would.
I said it was more likely to be turned off by the suggestion and leave. Flabbergasted, he offered, “Well, I’ll jus a blow a big line up their ass, and they’ll start cumming. They’ll fucking love it!”
I asked my Kasey (technically he did in a long message he wrote on my jpay), to find him a hot penpal; she complied, and her friend Jacque volunteered herself after laughing at his letter.
Jacque wrote a small message back to me to show Randy, who was ecstatic to read it. He was to handwrite a letter, that Id mail to Kasey, who’d give it to her friend. This way, if he creeped her out right away, Randy wouldnt have any personal info to harass her.
Randy asked me all about Jacque like she was his bride-to-be in an arranged marriage. i described Jacque for him: really fucking cute, funny&quirky, and liked to party. However, preemptively answering the inevitable, she didn’t do ice and probably looked down on it.
He excitedly worked on a long letter, and shared it with my other cubie Wojo to read . Not to proofread or for feedback, either, Wojo later told me Randy was showing it off, super proud of his composition. A day later he confidently handed over the letter, and found a stamp for me so i could mail it out immediately.
He didn’t ask me to read it nor did I. But I did glance at the few pages full of chickenscratches. His handwriting seriously looked like a child’s, like he gripped the pencil in his palm. Scanning a few lines, I noticed a few egregious spelling errors.
Later that week, Randy was told to pack up, because they’d be transporting him to another joint. He was devastated. He worried about how he’d stay in contact with Jacque, asking if I had her number. I didn’t. Undeterred, he went so far as asking for Kasey’s number, which I immediately shut down. (another prison rule, rule #003: never share your girl’s phone number with another inmate.)
I assured him we’d find out which joint he was at from OTIS, the prisoner directory. That was that, it seemed. I realized Randy served as the distraction I needed then, because in his absence, I fretted way more often about my upcoming court date, and forgot all about Randys eventual whereabouts.
Sometimes though, I doubted my case would be dropped, and spiraled into a panic attack: What if they didnt drop the case? How much time would I get? What could I handle? I felt like everyone on the yard pitied me because they knew I faced a bad motherfucker. Worse, I feared they were right.
Kasey always talked me down when I was in these states. Our calls were my xannie bar, but I’d developed a tolerance.
Lately, she was going thru her own ordeals, and needed my emotional support. Too often I was too self- concerned and gripped by my own issues to get outside myself and lavish comfort on her. My incarceration had strained our relationship already, and my emotional unavailability was pushing it to the breaking point.
Once totally engaged and easygoing, our conversations had turned desultory, and lulled.
When I call her this time, though, the laughter crackled in her voice. “omg Brendan, you will not believe the letter Randy wrote Jacque. Did you read it?! omg we were dieing.”
She remarked on his childish handwriting, and then read me some choice excerpts. The best by far, though, was a section with the heading: “5 Things I’m really good at.”
It read: ” 1. sex 2. fighting mma 3. cooking meth 4. smoking meth.” I forget what the fifth was, but it had the same bravado, like “partying” or “fucking and doing meth together. “
We laughed together, unabated, for a whole minute. I couldnt stifle my laughter for another minute or two. It was the first real instance of pure happiness we shared in ages, and would be among the last. She said how nice it was to hear me laugh.
Near tears of exuberance, I couldn’t help asking, “What’d Jacque think? She should definitely write him.”
She described him most succinctly: a horny 12 year old kid who loved meth.
www.easytrouble.Wordpress.com

I’m 22F and I’ve been single for 3 1/2 years. I’ve been on some dates but they never led to a second for multiple reasons; there was no spark (unfortunately a lot of guys outed themselves by saying something offensive that didn’t align with my very reasonable morals), they weren’t looking for anything serious or they ghosted me/texted me very infrequently. For added context, I was diagnosed with autism/Asperger’s when I was 18, so dating can be a bit stressful in the sense of reading signals, overthinking things etc, though I rarely make my worries known out of fear of scaring them off. I’ve been in two relationships in the past, and unfortunately I don’t think they ever truly loved me. I was very open about my anxieties and struggles and one of them called me ‘high maintenance’ because I cried about something as I was stressed. I try my best to be confident but it’s hard as my insecurities stem from things guys have actually told me, rather than things I have conjured up in my own head.
Anyway, I matched with this guy on bumble and we hit it off right away. He asked for my number after chatting for a bit (which I love, a lot of guys ask for Snapchat which I HATE as most of the time they quickly ask for nudes/turn sexual). He messaged me the next day and we spoke all night, we really got on, had the same morals, listened to each other and it was great. We spoke over the next few days and we were really open about how much we liked each other, even started planning a date for one of the upcoming weekends. His replies started to get a bit slow, once he didn’t message me for an entire day, and I put it down to him being busy as he’s a teacher and is often exhausted/has extra planning to do. He told me he went out with friends that night at the last minute, I was a bit annoyed as I was really scared I got ghosted (something I explained to him before) but I gave him the benefit of the doubt as he seemed so nice.
He would shower me with compliments, I told him about my autism and anxiety and he seemed to get me. It’s hard for me to find people like that, I’m not that close with my family and most of my friends are either away or working so I don’t see them that much, it’s hard to find someone to connect to. He even told me at one point he smiled more talking to me in the past week than he ever did in previous relationships. He said I ticked all my boxes and I was perfect.
Anyway, the day after he didn’t message me all day I was out with friends. He messaged me saying how he’s sorry as he had developed a lot of anxiety talking to me, he explained in his previous relationship (over a year ago) she cheated on him and he didn’t realise how much the situation affected him until he started talking to me as he has never liked anyone in that time as much as me.
We talked about it more a few days later (he needed time to think) and he said he needed to get some therapy and he doesn’t want to date anyone until he feels mentally ready. I asked if he wanted to meet up casually just to see if it helps his anxiety and he said he really wants to but he feels like he can’t, like there’s a mental block. I wanted to wait, as honestly he seemed like the nicest and most genuine guy I had spoken to in 3 1/2 years. I said I was going to delete my dating apps as I don’t want to talk to anyone else and he said he’d do the same thing, and if I’m single when he’s ready he wants to start dating me again. We agreed we would message each other if we had something important we wanted to say/share or just needed to talk, but I would give him some space whilst he deals with his anxiety. A few days later I told him about a job offer I got and he congratulated me (18 hours later).
Anyway, I still have bumble as (I know it’s cringey) but I like looking at our conversation on there, it makes me smile. The other day I realised he had turned a year older (24) and I immediately realised we hadn’t discussed when our birthdays were, and I was going to wish him a happy birthday (this was a few days after we had that deep chat about therapy etc). I realised in his bio, he changed the birthday there too, which means he has been active on bumble. At first I thought oh maybe I remembered it wrong but I went back in our chat and nope, he said he was 23, which means odds are his birthday was within the last week after we stopped talking properly.
I messaged him cheekily and asked when his birthday was and if he updated his bumble profile. He didn’t respond after a good 6 hours. This sounds stupid but it was in my head a lot, my anxiety was playing. I sent another message explaining its okay if that’s what he wants to do, I was just a bit confused as he told me (out of his own will) that he deleted all his dating apps and he wanted to date me when things got better mentally. Before you guys ask, he said he hates one night stands and he was on bumble for a relationship, it even says in his bio he’s looking for a relationship. Those messages were sent Tuesday night/Wednesday morning. He didn’t reply for an entire day, and I sent another message asking if he could get back to me as I need clarity. Today I discovered his location changed a few times on his bumble profile; this only happens if you physically go on the app, which means not only is he active on the app up to the present, he’s ignoring my messages. My friends suggested I try calling him as they could see I was anxious and needed closure, it went to voicemail.
I’m just overwhelmed and a bit hurt. I’ve experienced so much shit with dating, and it’s hard because I’ve told him about all the awful experiences I had and he seemed so empathetic. He would shower me with compliments like I’m some sort of angel from god, and he always understood me and was never put off by anything I said. I just want honesty and clarity, and I haven’t gotten that. I feel stupid for waiting if he’s potentially talking to other girls. It’s just so confusing because this seems like the exact opposite of him, he seemed like he would never hurt a soul. Even when he explained how he needed space for therapy he said he felt awful because he knew it would make me sad and he said he’s worried he’d regret it because it’s a “right person wrong time” situation. He used that phrase multiple times.
I literally can’t trust anyone, I would really like to date someone but everyone has let me down and I hate it. I just want someone who will actually communicate with me and be honest, someone who won’t take 48 hours+ to reply to me, someone who really wants to take me out and make me feel special. I honestly feel numb, and now I need therapy too. I’ve given up, it’s too much.

This is a long story. Throwaway for obvious reasons. I'm going to ask you to be civil if you have a personal issue with what I'm about to describe. I am fully cognizant of all the ways I've fucked up. I'm being as honest about the situation as I can, I know I'm no angel. I'm just so tired of everything, so weary.
The father of my two children was an addict. He was also an abusive narcissist and our relationship was very toxic. I'm not going to blame him for me getting into drugs because it wasn't entirely his fault. I was overworked and overstressed and angry and bottling shit up and every time I would bring something up like why haven't you washed the dishes or done any housework, why have you played destiny for 12 hours again, it would result in these violent fights. I started with party drugs, moved on to poppy tea when he ordered it offline, and from there, to heroin. This was 2019. I started overdosing. Dcf got involved. I went to a few meetings to placate them but didn't actually try to stop, I thought I could balance it. Our habit spiraled and he crashed the car while running from the cops because he was stealing out of cars. He went to jail. Dcf took the kids. I immediately checked myself into rehab.
At this point my toxic parents whom I'd been estranged from stepped in to take custody of the kids. I am grateful that they did not end up in foster care, but this has been the most terrible experience for me imaginable. Rehab, CSS and TSS-my very first time in any kind of program, they called every day specifically to tell me how grateful I should be that they're getting the kids and how much it was costing them, of course.
Somehow, I stayed in treatment. I got into a halfway house. Got a job. Saved enough money for an apartment. All by myself, no help. I didn't even have tampons or pads in the house or my own hygiene products until I got a job. Had it ready when my kids' father got out of jail. I started therapy, I started meds, I started vivitrol and I've been on it for 2 years now. It was looking good. We were set to have the kids back by March 2021.
Then my kids' father started using again.
I can't tell you how devastated I was. I saw him nodded out one night after he thought I was asleep. He didn't even deny it. Said it was just going to be one time. It wasn't. We fought so bitterly. He got fired from his job. He was holding knives to my throat, threatening to kill me in my sleep if I didn't leave him alone. I called the cops on him once because I bent all his spikes and he threw a chair at me. Eventually he decided to stop, mainly because I was so vehement and kept screaming that I would leave him if he didn't... I still think that maybe if I was gentler he'd still be alive. But he detoxed at home.... By means of drinking handles of vodka at a time to forget he was dopesick. This was right before the court date in March. He did to his credit get himself clean. We moved from the tiny one bedroom to a three bedroom, got beds for the kids, everything was back on track. He still wasn't working but I was making enough money to get us by until he'd find another job. That was the plan. We started getting unsupervised visits with the kids. Literally signed paperwork saying they would come home March 31.
March 19 he comes home high on crack. He convinced me we could have one more night of fun before we get the kids back. I regret to this day doing it, but I smoked it with him all night long. I went out with some friends. I came back in the early hours of the morning and he was overdosed in the bathroom. It was too late. He was dead.
You can pretty much guess what happened next. I went to the hospital for the wellness check and I popped for coke. Dcf took it as I'd been doing drugs the whole time and canceled reunification. The case had been open for so long that in August of this year they basically decided to give my parents 'permanent custody' of the children just to close it. They all said I can reapply for custody in 6 months and I'd likely get them back. My dcf caseworker, my own lawyer, everyone. So I signed. I also signed an agreement saying I'd pay child support (no problem there, they're my kids) and that I'd have reasonable access to the kids and could visit frequently. Dcf was thrilled with this arrangement. Words like 'Co-parenting' were tossed around. It's not that bad because they're my parents! we will all work together to raise the kids and all will be sunshine and rainbows.
But of course it didn't work out that way. As I mentioned, my parents are toxic, and they have not held onto their end of the bargain at all. I have never missed a payment and I have not seen my children since September. The only time I can come visit is the weekends due to my job, but my mother said I couldn't do that because my father is working on those days. So I am not allowed to visit unless both of them are home for some reason, which literally is never.
I almost wasn't able to see them for Christmas this year because my mother claimed she'd be under quarantine for potential COVID exposure. The potential exposure was December 1st (my birthday and her excuse to not see the kids on my birthday), she said Christmas eve and day she would still be under quarantine. I pointed out how obviously insane that was and she did relent and say I could come on Christmas, but only for 2 hours. And also I was to be responsible for all of the kids' gifts. I didn't see them on Thanksgiving because my grandmother didn't want me there. I'm the big dirty secret of the family now, I get it, I know I made mistakes, but the whole thing sucks. I miss my babies.
I've got all these text conversations to show all of this. I ask all the time to see them and they make up excuse after excuse. We all literally signed an agreement and they aren't holding to it at all. They asked me this afternoon for $200 outside of what I pay for a nebulizer for my daughter because her cough hasn't relented. I said sure, just send me the receipt and I could have it reimbursed through my fsa account, and they started getting hostile and saying that it's my daughter and I should just give them the money, all kinds of bullshit. I don't mind helping but every time I ask them to put their requests for money in writing so I have something for court they refuse.
My mother also said that if I had called yesterday, if I cared about my daughter (?!?!) , maybe she wouldn't have had to spend the money and we wouldn't be in this situation. The reason I didn't call was because I worked both jobs back to back (I got a retail job for Christmas money) and she has told me I'm not allowed to call before 6 because she isn't home yet and wants to be present for the conversations with my kids. I never get to talk to them alone, she's always fucking watching and listening. She told dcf that I'm not consistent with calling but I call all the time, every day for the most part. She's going to pull this shit again, I know she will. I worked 830-5 and then 6-11 at my second job, which asks you to lock up your phone for your shift. She also had the nerve to ask if my daughter had respiratory issues as a baby, literally blamed me for the cough. She was a baby a decade ago and she sleeps in a fucking finished attic at their house, yet somehow it's my fault she has a cough.
My daughter is having panic attacks. My parents happily point the finger at me for that. I take the blame for some of it with what happened between her father and I and everything else that happened, but my mother is obsessed with cleanliness to the point of obsession and goes on these rants and raves that never end over the littlest things, to this day I can't be in the same room as someone washing dishes because of her because she used washing dishes as a way to project her anger when I was a kid. The triggers for my daughter's panic attacks are very similar to the ones I started getting as a kid at her age. She startles at loud noises just like I do. And it's them. All them!
I can't stand this situation anymore and I'm at my wits end. I know I fucked up but since he died I have been on the straight and narrow. Never missed a vivitrol appointment. I deleted all my contacts for drugs, I don't fucking touch them anymore. My boyfriend has no idea about any of that stuff and I don't want to expose him to it because I love him. He's better to me than my kids' father was even before he started getting high.
I didn't just lose the father of my kids to an overdose, but also his brother, two cousins, a friend. All this year. Every death I hear of makes me die inside a little more... I hate drugs, I swear to God, I'll never fucking touch them again. All I do is work and play MtGa. That's literally my life now. And I just want my babies to come home but every system that matters thinks I'm such a piece of shit and I don't know how to get out of all this. My therapist and my psychologist and my recovery counselor are all on my side but it isn't enough. I'm crying typing this. If I didn't have those babies depending on me to save them from my piece of shit narcissistic emotionally abusive mother (who presents well!) I'd give up. It's like, I wonder what's the point even of staying clean sometimes. I do it but I'm bitter. I'm bitter and I'm so tired. I'm so angry at him for dying and leaving me in this mess.
I miss my babies. I want them to come home.
Off my chest, I guess.

FUCK. My situationship of 5 months just ended. He wanted to keep it casual sex only from the beginning and I was ok with that until recently. Casual sex became more of a situationship when he initiated texting me everyday from date number one (with a few rare exceptions) and then eventually I stopped being guarded about my text frequency because it didn't seem to be an issue for him. Aside from various trips out of town, we normally spent the night together about once a week. Then I left for vacation about 3 months into the situationship, and his check-in text to make sure I arrived safely and daily messages to see what I had done on vacation started seeming decidedly not 'just casual sex'. Add to that other behaviors piling up....Telling me he could look at my art all day, saying more than once that 'one day' he'd get to hear me in action at my job (where I sell multi-million dollar professional services contracts; we both work mostly from home), one time he accidentally (?) ended a facetime by saying 'love you!,' and he told me he didn't want to have soulless disconnected sex with me, etc. We both clearly caught feelings!!!
He abruptly ended things via text a couple of weeks ago. I wished him well and tried to just move on. A little over a week later I texted him that I missed him and had some unanswered questions and would he be up for a call or coffee sometime. He said the feeling was mutual and he would be up for getting together...when we started talking schedules he said he didn't know if it was on the table but he could also come over after. I told him I'm just hoping him coming over doesn't seem like a terrible idea after we talk.
We ended up first having a call where he let me in on some very heavy family issues that are requiring him to relocate to the other side of the country in a couple of months to evict some squatters and get a family property fixed up for sale all of which prompted him to end things with me and he apologized for doing it via text. I ended up saying we obv have feelings for each other and I would rather spend a nice month or two together even if it that's all we have than to end like this. We had agreed to get together the following night, but the next morning he said he felt it would be irresponsible because he had been approaching coming over in a more lighthearted way but after we talked he doesn't want to lead me down the path of 'maybe' and that its okay that we want different things. I suggested we have a one-night only closure hookup that night since our last time together had not been our best work. He agreed and came over. We had a couple of rounds of nice sex, intermixed with some talking and sharing...maybe more vulnerable sharing than ever before since it was the last time.
He told me he had never really known sexual compatibility until he met me!!! I DIED. He is a gorgeous man and I assume has never had trouble finding women to sleep with him, so the revelation that he's never experienced anything like what we have kind of shocked me and broke my heart even more. We have SO MUCH chemistry between us. I can't wrap my head around how he can just walk away from the most sexual compatibility he has ever experienced! Its not like he's a 22 yo saying this, he's lived plenty! And its not like I'm great in bed, but come with some other HUGE defect of character! I make good money, I'm a great cook, we have common interests, I own my home, I have no kids, I'm attractive, in great shape, I tell funny stories, I'm creative and smart. WTF, dude??!!?!!
I can't help but think he will come back around eventually. I'm not sitting around waiting for him ofc, but this doesn't feel like something I can just get over by getting under someone else.
On our last night of closure together earlier this week, I asked him to tell me this was hard for him too and he said it was. I whispered in his ear thanking him for giving me this night together and he responded in my ear thanking me for everything we'd had together. We had some laughs that night too and relived some of our greatest hits together. When he finally had to leave we had some trouble detaching from each other and ending the one more kiss, but wait just one more kiss thing at my door. Since he left I've cried and cried and written in my journal endlessly trying to remember every detail of our last night together. I'm so fucking sad and so fucking lost and hopeless and tomorrow is Christmas Eve. Someone please make it make sense.

Well this is pretty much about my life and how it went after entering this NOFAP thing. I'm going to start with the fact that i started NOFAP because back in 2019 i started going to gym with my friend and after some months i wanted to see how much energy i will have if i don't fap. My surprise was that i actually had 5x more energy than i used to and i was way stronger so i just quit fapping. But at that point i did not realize how much it will actually help me. Excluding the fact that i was stronger and i had way more energy to spend, the first thing that i did not realize at that point, i was a different person, a better me. I became way more confident, way more focused and disciplined, my body was clearly changing from my workouts, many people were asking me how i've changed so much and i was like ' Idk, gym i guess?'. Well yes, gym had an impact but that was not everything. I was a skinny dude with little confidence and i was barely leaving my house so of course people noticed my changes but that was not only because of gym. From that guy that was barely leaving his house i became that guy that was away for weeks. I was different. I've also got my driver license from first try and i never expected that to happen because i was kinda shy. After one year, one time i was out with my friend and his friend( a girl) that also had a beautiful cousin with a great body. Well that girl got me, i was in love( not the first time in my life) but somehow i had so much confidence in me and i've told my friend: 'This girl will be my girlfriend'. And he was like:' I don't think so'. After 2 weeks she was already my girlfriend. She was the one who followed me and after i've told her that she is cute she told me that she liked me since that day we meet and she did not think that i will talk to her. She thought that i will not like her. After that we went out on a date and her cousin came as well with her boyfriend. She saw me how i was, how i was talking and after we went home her cousin texted me and said:' Your friend lied about you, he said that you are a shy dude who does not talk to girls, You are actually very confident and cool.' The thing is, he did not lie, i was like that in the past and even my friend said: Dude, who the *** are you?' After 4 months me and my girlfriend broke up and in a way i blame it on me since it was my first real relationship and i did not know how to 'handle' a girl like her. After this i started fapping again, i quit gym and my life went down. The funny thing is the fact that this was exactly the order. I fapped, i quit gym and my life went down. I can pretty much say that i was the same as before. My confidence, my ambition, energy, everything, i was down. But this year in July i asked myself: 'What happened to me?' I tried to start gym again but i did not have any ambition so i quit again. I did not know what was so different, what made me do all those things that i could not do before? And then, i realized, it was me not fapping. Because fapping takes away what makes you a man(testosterone). So i've stopped again and i can say that my life is going UP again. It was hard for me to actually understand what was missing because like i said, the reason i started NOFAP was only because i wanted more energy for GYM, nothing else. But i never thought that it helped me way more than that. Well, this is it. I'm not good at this kind of things but this was a part of my life and i thought maybe if i share it, maybe i will help some people. I don't know how many people will actually read this but i hope at least i've helped somebody to realize that they can be so much more than they are now. So, if you are questioning if NOFAP will help you or not, from my personal experience, it will not only help you, it will change you. Even if my life went down, i've still got my body and some sort of confidence left from all those things. Now i know what i can do. I wish you can find what you guys can do as well. Have a great life guys!

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